Life
by TheOnlineComics on May 23, 2012

1. Check Your Text Messages

If you were drunk enough that you don’t remember anything, there is a 90 percent chance that you also sent some drunk texts. Most likely these texts went out to a number of girls in your phone, as well as a few “I’m drunk” texts to your good friends. There will be lots of misspelled and irrelevant outgoing messages, but you might come across one in which you attempt to explain your location to a potential booty call. If you can find out where you spent most of the night, you are well on your way to figuring this thing out.

2. Check Incoming and Outgoing Calls

Along with texts, you can be pretty certain that you made a handful of drunk dials. Checking who you talked to will be a good indicator of who you were with last night or who you were trying to meet up with. These people, assuming they didn’t black out as well, will be helpful in finding out where you were. That, or they’ll be super annoyed when they talk to you the next morning.

3. Check the Freezer

You need to find out what you actually pregamed with. Was it vodka, whiskey, tequila or, God forbid, Jagermeister? Were you pounding beers before heading out? This will hopefully spark memory of the beginning of your night. For example if you see tequila in your freezer, maybe it will bring you back to the pregame when you all gave a cheers “to getting laid,” and then proceeded to lick the salt, take the shot, and bite the lime. These kind of flashbacks are necessary in finding how your night played out.

4. Check Pockets For Receipts

In your drunken state you can assume that you were “Mr. Money Bags” last night and decided to buy the whole bar a round of shots. No matter your financial situation, it is more important that you find out what happened. Receipts can help you map out exactly what bars you went to. CAUTION: Don’t look at the total spent. This will just distract you and lead you off course into a state of mild depression where you begin to question your life goals and decisions.

5. Check Bank Account

In drunken states a lot of us forget to actually care about keeping a receipt In this case, you will not have any physical proof of where you were. However, thank God for digital banking. Log on to your bank account and see where your transactions took place. This will only work if you are using your card. If you only had cash last night, then move on to the next step of advice.

Keep reading on the next page… 

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6. Call Your Best Friend

This can work for a variety of reasons: 1) you were out with them last night drinking and hopefully they didn’t get as blacked out as you or 2) You called them while drunk and went on a long diatribe about what you were doing, who you were screwing and what your general state of mind was. Even if they can’t help you piece it together…they’re your best friend, it’s good to call these Bros every now and then.

7. Check Facebook Pictures for Embarrassing Photos

This might be every dude’s least favorite way to find out what they did the night before: Public Humiliation. Not only do you have to remember that 300 pound whale that you made out with at the bar last night…there’s proof and it’s all over Facebook thanks to people tagging you in photos. Sure, you can de-tag it, but unless they delete the picture, that gem is always going to be out there floating in cyberspace just waiting to be turned into a meme. Sorry, Bro.

8. Check Your Tweets or Facebook Check-Ins

Similar to Facebook, but not as bad…drunken tweets can always be deleted the next morning. This is a truly solid way to figure out where you were though, because we all know the phrase, “Blacking out at ____” is a staple of any night out tweeting. Facebook check-Ins are key, as well for Sherlocking your night. We all have those friends that have to Facebook Check-in everywhere. Usually it’s kind of annoying, but for this CSI adventure, it’s key.

9. Take a Walk Through Your Neighborhood for Visual Reminders

This old school method is easy enough. You walk around your neighborhood and try to re-trace your steps of leaving your house and heading out for the night. Seeing landmarks such as that dumpster you threw up behind or the bush that you threw your empty beer can into can really help you visualize your night.

10. Forget About It

On second thought…you blacked out, probably had an awesome night, and you didn’t wake up in jail. Why should you spend the effort trying to remember all the stupid shit you did last night, especially now that you have an uneasy stomach and a never ending headache. Go lay on the couch, turn on mindless TV and space out. Take this one as a win and move on.

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