11 Tips For Having The Best Orgasms You’ve Ever Had In Your Life

Sometimes you want to have slow, passionate, wholesome sex…other times you want to finish as if you were trying to put out a building fire with an unruly fire hose. Either way, let’s face it – usually the male orgasm is an all-too brief event.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could make it last longer or at least more intense? Of course it would. So let’s talk about power. Let’s talk about volume. Let’s talk about the seismic sexual sonic boom you really want to have. Here’s how you can achieve Peter North-esque loads.

Kegs

Nah, not that kind of keg, bro. Keg is just my shorthand for Kegels. For those who don’t know, that’s when you contract and release your PC (pubococcygeus muscles located on your pelvic floor near your testes, anus, and penis). Try it out while peeing, at work, stuck in traffic – pretty much anywhere. These exercises can help you control the flow of your orgasm (distance and strength, baby!) and increase staying power, and the rigidity of your erection. And as a bonus, they promote good prostate health and help control premature ejaculation.

Stop ‘n’ Go

Orgasm control is important; not just for your partner’s pleasure, but yours as well. Practice by yourself by coming close to an orgasm and then backing off. And then doing it again. And so forth. This will elevate your sexual arousal, keeping it at peak over a longer period of time and intensifying your orgasm. One technique is to pull your balls down lightly as you feel the orgasm coming on. This will help delay ejaculation. Just make sure you get that poison out at some point, otherwise you’re going to be blue-balling yourself with a special misery.

Bate Less, Sex More

It’s probably not breaking news that masturbating less will help your orgasms reach a better peak intensity, but interestingly enough, engaging in intercourse on a regular basis will help increase semen volume for a thicker consistency and more satisfying, earth-shattering loads.

Abstaining

On the other hand if you abstain completely from orgasms for a few days that can also be very helpful. Any more than that and you risk rage whacking at the first sight of anything remotely resembling a female figure.

Do it in the Morning

We all know that morning wood is no myth and morning sex is great, but did you know that semen production is best right when you wake up? It all makes sense now…

The Peter North Diet

That’s not a real thing, but do you know what is? His advice to eat celery to produce massive loads. But why, you ask? Well, celery is a particularly water-rich veggie and water helps semen volume which in turn results in increased volume and range. Score one for a food that gets very little love of its own.

Get Fit as Fuck

A good state of fitness means your circulatory system is operating smoothly and that good blood circulation can help your erection and ejaculation. So put down the Chipotle and take the stairs once in a while, all right?

Stop Smoking

Need a reason to quit? It’s simple, aside from smoking’s’ other brutal truths and disgusting effects, it also decreases semen volume.

Supplements

Amino acids like L-Arginine, L-Lysine, and L-Carnitine (which can be found on the cheap from a variety of online supplement peddlers) are believed to increase the volume of your ejaculate fluid. Horny goat weed is supposed to boost your libido and testosterone and restrict enzymes that keep blood from flowing to your penis, which can lead to stronger ejaculation. Zinc has been shown to elevate sperm production as well.

Pretty cool, but before you decide to make large pharmaceutical purchases just keep in mind that with most supplements the scientific findings are often a mixed bag.

Manual Manipulation

You can physically do something kind of amazing and tricky to yourself to increase orgasm. This technique involves applying pressure to your grundle (scientifically known as the perineum) as you’re about to come to hold back the oncoming flow – and then let it spray extra hard. The thing about this is that your girlfriend is either going to LOVE it or HATE it – no in between.

Stay Hydrated

It’s simple; because semen is water-based the volume of semen you can produce is closely related to the volume of fluids you at your body’s disposal. So drink a lot of water. And if you’ve been drinking alcohol, drink twice as much water.

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Disclaimer: There isn’t anything out there to suggest that there’s a direct correlation between orgasm volume and sexual pleasure so while it might be fun to punch a hole through your garage door with the sheer force of your orgasm don’t go changing your entire life just to achieve hilariously cartoonish goals.

Sex image by Shutterstock