As with any dating app on the Internet, you’re bound to get at least a few (and by “few” I mean “couple hundred dozen”) crazies who show up to your house, kill your dog, roast it in the fire pit you conveniently keep in your back yard and then chug a bottle of wine before telling you “Hey, I don’t think this is going to work out” as you pull into your driveway completely unawares of what the fuck just went down. To be fair, this chick wasn’t that bad. She didn’t kill anyone’s dog…but she did stalk Redditor tinderthrowaway2015’s friend for about 2 days before sending him the creepy gift basket of shit you see below. Here’s the full story:
Girl looks and seems chill on text and tinder, 21 years old, witty and funny… We text back and forth for 2 weeks cause I was gone on my road trip. We finally meet up 2 days ago, what was supposed to be a regular date in a bar. I arrive there and she is MASSIVELY overweight compared to her pictures, I’m talking 75 lbs+. In the hour that follows she orders 5 double gin and tonics and it becomes clear to me that she is high on speed. She is grinding her teeth like crazy and is restless. It’s a mess, she invited friends of hers to come say to hi to us during this date and shit.
At a certain point I can’t take this anymore and I have my ex-roommate texting me that her father was just admitted to the hospital for a heart problem so I bounce from the spot and I tell her bye and walk to my friends place 10 minutes from there. While I’m at her place for about an hour, this bitch keeps calling and texting me 30+ times. I end up leaving and heading towards my place and I hear “HEEEYYYYYY!!” – The bitch followed me. At this point it’s like 2 am and she’s coming down from her speed high, it’s just a sad whale running after me in the streets.
I end up arguing with her for 30 minutes and putting her in a taxi so that she goes home. The day after I text her telling her it’s not gonna work out. I go to take a nap and a get woken up a few hours later by a text message saying “I’m parked right outside, come I have something to tell you”. I’m like WTF but at this point I might as well get murdered, I get to her car and she’s like “Get in, I have something for you”. She gives me all this shit you see in the picture, including a HANDWRITTEN 6 PAGE LETTER explaining how she thinks I’m the one and we had a special connection. At this point I’m going brain dead, tell her I’ll think about all this and head home.”
Basically she remembered everything he told her and bought him 1) Boxing wraps 2) His favorite movies 3) Some scotch 4) A prepaid credit card meant to go to eat at A&W 5) Custom made Nut allergy free pies from a bakery 6) This 6 page hand written letter.
For his sake, I hope he moved to a completely new continent. I hear Antarctica is nice this time of year.
[H/T Reddit]