If you’ve ever flexed the law while traveling abroad and boosted the local economy by investing in some regional drugs then this exact nightmare scenario has undoubtedly crossed your mind. Your trip involved several debaucherous nights out, some of which you don’t really remember, but vacation’s over and you’re headed back to reality. You get to the airport and start thinking about what might’ve been left in your pockets and/or is potentially lost in your suitcase, and as you approach customs on American soil you’re beginning to shit your pants that there might be a little blow stuck in your nostrils and that TSA dog that’s 100-yards away can probably smell it and you’re totally fucked…You’ve been there, right? Anyways, this story of a dude who went to the EDM festival Ultra Chile and nearly got booked for cocaine by the TSA will make you think twice during your next trip abroad..
TIFU by bringing a small amount of cocaine into the US through the TSA in my phone case
Well it all started with a trip to Chile to see one of my friends for 4 days. I meet up with him and a bunch of his friends and ended up getting hammered quite a few nights in a row. So anyways Ultra Chile (Like the huge EDM festival) was coming up and we were trying to get other stuff but only managed to get coke. We thought we would try it out before going to Ultra in the next few days and had a few good nights before Ultra. Anyways Ultra finally came and we put a good amount of coke in an Advil bottle and shoved 12 joints in our crotch area and headed through the gates. Now us being a bunch of dumbass gringos just started snorting the shit basically anywhere and see I have a phablet so my phone was always the go to phone. Basically after many joints, beers, lines, and Denny’s the next morning I had to head home. I got through the Santiago security no problem, got on my plane, flew to the US, got off the plane, got to the security line and that’s when I dropped my phone and the case poped off on one corner, and there it was just a shit ton (Well what looked like a shit ton at the time) of white stuff just caked inside of the case and stuck in every crevice possible. I freaked out a bit there and then, but just played it cool and chatted with some chill TSA guy. But then no shit some TSA guy gets on the radio and asks someone where the dog was for the AM rush…..
I about shit my pants. Luckily the dog didn’t show up in time and I instantly walked to the nearest bathroom and awkwardly washed my phone case in the sink which probably took me like 30 secs but felt like 10 min, so I dried it off with one of those really strong hand blow dryers which I didn’t even realize how weird it probably looked until the guy next to me just keep glancing over at me. But anyways I made it home alive with two great stories to tell!
All’s well that ends well, I guess. It would have been a life ruiner had this dude not been able to clean off his phone case, and this story would’ve been a serious downer. So I guess we can all learn a valuable lesson here: never use your phone case or credit cards to chop up cocaine while on vacation.