Life
by Andy Green on August 27, 2012

The 1960's Batman Series Was Inspired by One of Hef's Parties

The Batman series that aired on national television in the 1960's acts as a sacred reminder of our society's responsibility to never let things get that weird ever again. Who was the master of the most wicked bashes in those days? Hugh motherf***ing Hefner, that's who! He threw a Batman themed party that was so off the hook that it actually inspired an ABC executive in attendance to produce this bizarre and twisted version of the Dark Knight!

Hugh Hefner is the Direct Descendant of the Guy That Invented Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one holiday that is almost dedicated to Bro-life. There's food and drink. Football takes place on this wonderful and glorious day. We all have something we need to remember to give thanks for in November, The family should gather around a giant deep fried bird, bow their heads and thank Hugh Hefner. Hef is actually the direct descendant of William Bradford, the first government leader to recognize what we now know as Thanksgiving. Sure, it's Hef who has put out this information, but he's a Bro. He's not a guy that needs to lie to impress someone. So, we believe ya bud! Have a happy Thanksgiving this year, Hef!

Hef Owns the Crypt Next to Marilyn' Monroe

Even the Grim Reaper's scary ass can't stop Hef from enjoying eternal slumber next to the hottest chick to have ever lived. Hef actually bought the rights to the spot right next to Ms. Monroe. Just think, the first thing brother Hef will get to do after he passes through the light is bang. Hugh, your levels of pure concentrated mastery of the ways of the Bro is unrivaled, sir.

Hef Saved the Hollywood Sign

The world famous Hollywood Sign is an iconic symbol of the long history of the entertainment industry. By the late 1970's, the sign had started looking like the Incredible Hulk tried making passionate, rough love to it. It was almost just trashed and forgotten. A world without the Hollywood Sign is not a world Hugh Hefner wants to live in. He stepped up and held a huge fundraiser. The fundraiser raised enough money to repair and maintain the sign. Hugh was probably also triple team sexified by 2 hot blondes and a brunette known for having the fastest hands in the western hemisphere at the party. All in all, it was a success.

There is a Species of Bunny Named After Hefner

Because Hugh led the sexual revolution and found out the way to get naked chicks to the Bros on the front lines, he made an impact  on people of all walks of life. Lumberjacks were stoked about the boobies. Doctors were stoked about those jiggly pillows of pure happiness. Even the science community owed the entire balance of their spank bank accounts to Hef. The man was immortalized when they officially named a species of bunny after him to honor him for his greatness and for providing the globe with a healthy dose of dem titties.

Hef Started Playboy for Only $8,000

Outside of the hundreds of other reasons Hugh Hefner is THE MAN, he's also a savvy businessman. He started one of the most successful and iconic empires in the history of mankind and he did it for a mere 8 grand! When you start to really do the math and figure that out per booby, it shows you just how smooth a talker this guy must have been!

Hugh Hefner Has Been Supporting Gay Rights Since the 1950's

Proving how incredibly smart and forward thinking he was in one of the most intolerant of eras in America, was just how Hef rolled. He knew that people should be tolerant of all men… even men that are into being into other men. He's been in support of gay rights since way before it was even being discussed as a public issue.

Hugh Hefner Was a Virgin Until Age 22

Some Bros can be described as late bloomers. They might take more time to decide that they are ready for the deliciousness of an ice cold beer. They might need to take some time to decide when the time is right to let go of the Adam Sandler they once knew. And some Bros are a little more picky when deciding the right lady to take to Pound Town. Hugh was one of these Bros and didn't lose his virginity until the age of 22. He's since gone to the peaks of the Mt. Olympus of hot snooch, showing Bros everywhere that with the right idea you can hit the hot chick jackpot.

Hugh Hefner and Playboy Produced “Macbeth”

We're not sure if it was the constant descent to the very nexus of sexual pleasure or the giant stacks of cash. But somewhere in the timeline of badass that is Hef's life, a passion for Shakespeare was knocked loose. Playboy decided to finance a version of this classic in film form. They hired freaky sick weirdo Roman Polanski and of course plenty of nakedness was injected into the tragic world of Macbeth.

Hef Never Actually Met Marilyn Monroe

The first issue of playboy featured the iconic image of Marilyn Monroe. She wasn't naked on the cover, but boners across the nation sprang to attention like meerkats that just realized they're bein' scoped out by a pack of hungry lions. She started a tidal wave of erections that has been surging through society for the better half of a century. As you read earlier, Hef even went so far as to buy the spot right next to Marilyn's body in the cemetery. So, they must've been just the greatest of friends right? WRONG! Hugh and Marilyn never actually met one another. Hef will get the one that got away with his ghost weiner.

There you have it. The legend of The Hef will live on throughout the ages for ever burned into the minds of Bros far and wide. Learn his ways young Bros, apply his knowledge and you too could end up as one of the luckiest guys on the planet!