Let’s be honest here. As men, we spend a tremendous amount of time suppressing deviant thoughts. It’s exhausting to keep the devil inside at bay, but it’s of vital importance. Sometimes, though, the better angels of our nature lose out and we give in to those terribly primal urges.
With that in mind, here are 17 things to do to your girl while she’s sleeping.
• Rifle through her underwear drawer, taking great care to make sure each one of her sexy items is pristinely folded and organized.
• Gently caress her along her hourglass figure ever-so slightly to ensure she is adequately tucked-in as she slumbers.
• Pound the breasts of the chicken with a meat tenderizer to prepare them for tomorrow night's dinner
• Press firmly on her alarm clock until it is set properly in case she has an early engagement early the following morning.
• Rub her rock-hard muscles until she can’t take it any longer and all her tension is released.
• Put your finger deep inside her sink drain and remove anything that may be clogging it.
• Vigorously lick her fancy stamps and apply them to her garden party invitations so she doesn’t have to do all the work.
• Finger her identity thief in open court to alleviate what had been a nightmare saga of cyber terror.
• Really give her pussy the business. The cat has never been trained and is a nuisance sometimes.
• Force her to wrap her mouth around some homemade muffins you made using a special recipe.
• Satisfy your guilty pleasure and color code all of her shoes in the closet. It'll be our little secret.
• Plunge yourself into her mud room, sweeping everything in sight.
• Sweatily thrust your hammer while building the birdhouse she's always wanted outside the kitchen window.
• Bone down on the floor. This way your dog won't be barking all night.
• Browse the weekly circular and cut out coupons for her Tampons of choice. Place them a top her nightstand with a note saying "Why should our wallets have to bleed, too? "
• Grind the hell out of her coffee beans so her morning coffee will be smooth and delicious.
• Blow a giant load of wet laundry with a window fan to dry them without a costly electric bill.