Life
by Toby Davis on April 30, 2014

road-trip

The internet is full of articles about things you should do before you turn a certain age, but many of them feature the same boring meaningless advice. “You should travel the world.” Cool. Are you financing this journey? Also, can you convince my boss to let me go on vacation for at least a few months while I “find myself?” Some people just say things to say them, but I’m here to give you some practical, yet unordinary tips that you may have not thought of doing until now.

Go on a stake-out

This is something you should probably only do when you’re under 25 years of age, simply because the cops may get involved if things go terribly wrong.  One of the best things about going on a stake-out is that all you need is a friend with a walkie-talkie app, sunglasses, tons of coffee, and a lot of cigarettes, or sunflower seeds for a healthier alternative.

 The key to a good stake-out is picking out a good target. You’ll want to pick one of your friends, but not one of your best friends. Once you pick your target, you can do some surveillance on their house using the phrase “over” a lot on the walkie-talkies, and eventually you prank them. I did this with a friend in college. We posted up in a car down the street, and waited until our suspect left his house. When the coast was clear we dropped off a package that included a DVD that just said “Play Me” on the disk along with a note cut out of magazine letters. The DVD was actually a copy of a dirty film with a title along the lines of “Obese Women 7.” The note along with it simply said, “You’ll only know when you begin to understand” which actually meant nothing, but led to even more confusion.

The best part was hearing him tell about the strangeness of the whole thing for weeks afterwards to some of his closer friends. He never could figure out the significance of the whole thing.

Drink on a roof

There are few things more satisfying in this life than cracking a few beers on the top of a roof and watching the sunset with some friends. This may seem like an obvious choice, but I’m always amazed how many people aren’t drinking on their roof whenever I get a chance to go up on one. Similar to drinking on a boat, drinking on a roof gives you that extra element of happiness that is hard to replicate many places. Just be careful going up and down and rely on a buddy system to prevent any accidents.

Have a cook-off with your friends

Having a cook-off with your friends is fun to do before you turn 25, because chances are none of you are very good at cooking yet. You’ve survived off Ramen Noodles and Hamburger Helper, so this is an entertaining way to really test your cooking skills and possibly eat some delicious food. The more complicated the dish the more interesting the competition. I also took part in a milk steak cooking competition (inspired by an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) where we each tried a different method of cooking a milk steak. I don’t recommend this if you have an even average sense of smell or taste as none of the methods proved to be in any way successful.

Host an outrageous garage sale

At one point in the summer there will most likely be a neighborhood garage sale going on in your neighborhood. If you ever get the opportunity of living with some roommates in a house, use this opportunity to have a garage sale full of outrageous items. Some options include selling things like buy one get one free socks, old t-shirts you autograph yourself, and selling rocks as “earth survivors.” It’s also fun to have one of your friends standing suspiciously in the back while you mention to potential customers, “I’ve got a guy in the back if you need anything.”

Go on a road trip to a tailgate party

This one may seem like an ordinary thing to do, but I think a lot of people underestimate the extra shenanigans that happen during the road trip out to the tailgate. There’s way too much excitement in being immersed in an entirely new tailgating environment. The bigger the vehicle and more people you can get to go along the better. There’s almost always a good story that comes out of a road trip, and tailgating is a blast even if you don’t care that much about the game.

Watch an entire movie trilogy in one night

You’ll never have as many random streaks of nothing to do as you do before you turn 25. Take advantage of one of these nothing streaks by rounding up a group of friends to watch an entire movie trilogy. You can go with a popular movie trilogy like The Matrix Trilogy, or the Back to the Future Trilogy, or try a rather less popular one that I went with which was “The Free Willy Trilogy.” This was mainly chosen because “The Free Willy Trilogy” was fun to say out loud.

Fly a kite until it disappears from your view

This one is way more fun than it may sound. All you need to do is buy a cheap kite and a long line of fishing string. Then you go out into an area clear of power lines and other buildings and begin to start unraveling the joy. It’s a hilarious notion to still be technically flying a kite that you can’t even seeit  with the naked eye. I made the mistake of trying to do this during the start of a lightning storm over our campus’ soccer and football practice field which was littered with power lines. Turns out Louie the Lightning Bug was a pretty smart guy after all.

Invent a shot/drink

This one may seem complicated at first, but there are so many different types of liquor out there that you should have no problem coming up with a new shot or drink concoction and name. For example my friends invented a shot they called a “Babe Frisbee” which is just Bacardi O and UV Blue. It doesn’t taste that good, but it’s fun to say and usually leads to an interesting conversation with the bartender.

Be careful with your mixtures though. In college, a group of friends and I invented what we called, “The Russian Tator Bomb.” It was a shot of vodka that you chased with a slice of a potato. We even got a bar to serve them to us for a week, until the following week when someone puked on their floor from the shot. It was then banned from the bar, and may be the quickest a shot has been both invented and banned from a bar in human history.

Go to a music festival

I say this one mainly because this is when your body can still handle what occurs at most music festivals. You sleep in a tent for three plus days and survive on a steady diet of cold meat sandwiches, hot dogs, beer, and more beer. There’s also no down time at music festivals so you start partying the moment you wake up which is early, because you’re sleeping in a tent that will probably be considered hazardous material by the time you leave due to the body funk you’ll produce drinking and sweating all day and night. You can’t survive the kind of beating your body takes at these things forever so enjoy it with some live music while your body still allows for sleeping on uneven dirt and partaking in a flip cup competition using boxed wine at 10 a.m.

Next time you’re out I dare you to order a Russian Tator Bomb… and if you do… tweet me how it went.

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Toby Davis

About Toby Davis...

Toby Davis is a person who has been alive ever since birth and writes humorous articles on the internet. He has also created a board game, owns a toaster oven, and has kissed at least three girls. Like his Facebook page.