Music festivals have been around forever but only until recent years have EDM festivals blown up bigger than Kanye’s baby mama. I never thought I would take interest in this genre of music thanks to blowout hair cuts and reality TV but little did I know that house music has expanded greatly and like many other guys out there looking to party – this music and the many festivals created because of it gets the job done. This is mainly because these festivals have three essential things besides good music:
1. Raving related substances.
2. Bright-colored-weird-clothes that are cool to wear for the day.
3. An abundance of hot girls.
It’s safe to say that all three of the things mentioned above will be the top three priorities to anyone going to a music festival until the world comes to an end. They are also vital for having an overall unforgettable experience, although you probably will forget a decent part of it. I can fully back that statement up because I spent a decent amount of my life’s savings on buying my two-day EDC New York pass and I intend on getting my money’s worth down to the penny. That being said and not really knowing what’s in store for me, my friends and the thousands of other people going to EDC: We hope to accomplish at least 7 out of the 8 things listed below.
Unintentionally Separate from Your Friends
Ignore the first rule you heard when you were in kindergarten because sticking to the buddy system will never work – especially 20+ years later. Buddy’s are not there to make sure you’re okay and safe, rather your buddy’s are there to make sure you have an amazing time at a music festival. Along with an amazing time comes an amazing story. That’s what they will want to hear about and that’s what they are going to get, just as long as you let the separation happen on its own.
Get At Least 23 Different Phone Numbers
Twenty-three is a great number and it’s also how old I am. Always try to get at least your age in phone numbers. The best part about this is that it’s going to be very easy. By numbers I don’t necessarily mean phone numbers from girls, well of course I do but you’re also going to meet people who are cool, crazy, or both. “Both” are meaning the drug dealers. A promoter or a contact for a night club is also phone number worthy people, just don’t let them roofie you. Always save these people in your phone beginning with the event you are at, therefore they are easy to look at and laugh at the next day. Example:
1. EDC Molly Bro
2. EDC Hot Girl 1
3. EDC Promoter Asshole But Has A Hookup
4. EDC Hot Girl 2
5. EDC Molly Bro 2
Have Sex Where You Shouldn’t Have Sex
This should always be on your to-do list regardless of where you are. This is just a friendly reminder that having sex with a girl you just met is absolutely mandatory and also a lot easier at a music festival. How is it so easy? Might you ask? Well between the music, drugs/alcohol/sober-horny-ness, and the whole reason why I’m writing this article – life is just better at music festival. So having sex in a porta potty or on a carnival ride or out in the open for everyone to see is a good possibility; so is getting kicked out for doing it so I’d just settle for the porta potty.
Not Getting Kicked Out
Pretty self-explanatory: the fun stops when you get kicked out. Unless a hot girl you're with gets tossed too. Then the fun is just beginning.
Frequently Get Complemented on Your Attire
Take a crack head from the 80’s with a touch of retro from your childhood while wearing inexpensive glasses that are either lime green, bright yellow, orange, blue or any other color from the fucking rainbow and throw on a tank top that has a funny logo or saying on it and is also easy to take off and then you are attire ready for a music festival. People who don’t go to music festivals will call you crazy and everyone else will complement you for looking like this.
Meet a DJ…Drop Molly with that DJ
What’s cooler than meeting a DJ? Dropping molly with that DJ. If he or she is a DJ and you express how much of a fan you are, there’s a good chance they will be down for this unless: One, they don’t speak English which will be a speed bump but not really stop you from rolling your face off with them. Two, the DJ’s name is Avicii – apparently he doesn’t like doing drugs.
Get Invited to an Awesome After Party
You’re not going to go back to your hotel room, fall asleep and wake up nice and refreshed for day two of a music festival. Not going to happen. If you don’t get invited to an after party step up and become the after party. And by that I mean completely destroying your hotel room with your friend. A successful after party will include talking about everything already mentioned above or some sort of involvement with the law.
Wake Up Where You’re Not Supposed To
This is one of the repercussions for going to that after party. A pretty successful repercussion if you ask me.