Life
by J. Camm on November 27, 2012

It all started on Saturday morning. I'm in bed, rifling through my emails, deleting Ask a Bro questions about 'getting out of the friend zone' and 'beating whiskey dick' when I came across a tip from a reader:

Subject: Found something really weird…

Message:  My name is Leines from Germany and I found a product while reading the Hustler Magazine: PussyLolly!  You can see the at pussylolly.com. Isn´t that great for BroBible?? 

Best wishes ;)

After being excited that emoticons have made their way to Germany, I clicked on the link. Up popped a website with pussy-shaped lollipops. I started laughing. My girlfriend, who can't ever not know what I'm laughing at, inquires.

Her: “What's so funny? Did Joe send you a picture of his shit again?”

Me: “No, a reader sent in a link to pussy lollipops.”

Her: “Let me see!”

She looks.

Her: “Oh, wow. Do they taste like it or are they just shaped that way?”

Me: “How the fuck should I know? I've been looking at this for one-second longer than you. But I don't think there is much of a market for pussy-shaped lollipops let alone ones that taste like it. So my guess is 'no.'”

Her: “Yeah, you're probably right.”

Then I closed the browser on my phone and forgot about the tip until JUST NOW! Armed with a real computer, I dove right into Pussy (Lolly) and really explored the innards of the site. First, I clicked on their Product Images link so I could find some SFW images to post, because regardless of what happened I had to let the world know these existed. While I was there, I also learned that every pop is handmade so “the colour and surface structure may vary slightly” on each one. The captain of the S.S. PussyLolly is a real craftsman, you guys!

While I was there, I also grabbed this photo. 

She's got a pussy on her back!

After that, things went south almost instantaneously.

Next, I clicked on Product Designs. I figured I'd see a few color shades and nothing else. Instead I got a hearty helping of WTF!?!

Is that rip-cord edible?

So. Many. Questions.

How in the shit do you go from normal vagina right into menstruation? And is that fucking string necessary? (Although I've always been a fan of authenticity, in all facets of life.) Also, how do you bypass making a black one? Do they actually taste like pussy because now I'm starting to think they might? Lastly, and most importantly, how can I unsee all of this? Actually, can I sue someone? I think I should be able to sue someone. That fucker, Leines.

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