I could hardly get out of bed this morning and these fucking savages are scaling a rock wall before breakfast. Earlier today, Brandon posted about this drunk Canadian dude jumping on the back of a moose while it swam, and I was absolutely flabbergasted. Not that the dude instigated an animal that could for sure tear him a new orifice, but because MOOSES CAN SWIM? Granted, I’m not the coldest beer in the fridge, but I thought I was intelligent enough to understand the general capabilities of my fellow mammals. I know fucking nothing. And I legit had to look up the plural of ‘moose’ because Grammar Check was giving me a red dotted line. The plural form of moose is simply moose (not mooses or meese). Not even fucking with you, the internet told me and it never lies. Now nature’s going to cock-slap me with a huge bear climbing up a rock wall for seemingly no reason at all? Today up is down, left is right, but moose is still moose for some reason IDK.
When she fall asleep after inviting you over late night but her bedroom window open…