Traveling the globe in search of the next best party or crop of sultry women is an essential element to every man's youth. Horizons broaden, stories develop, and in some lucky cases you bring home an interesting rash or a stench that won't leave your index finger. Sometimes, however, your youth, your college budget, or your tightwad parents may get in the way of your nomadic bliss. But what if they didn't? Where would you go when you finally had money of your own to blow at will?
My initial plan for this list was to have BroBible hand me 50Gs and let me run a muck all over our country and other foreign lands. Drinking, pissing, and engaging in extreme merrymaking wherever, and with whomever, my inebriated heart desired. Sadly, they have yet to offer such a trip or even a casket full of money so now I am forced to write this based on my own experience in these places or do what a legitimate journalist (this, of course, is not me) would call "extensive research" on areas I am not personally familiar. Actually, the BroBible team helped out with a lot of these since first-hand experience from a Bro who lived it is better than plagiarizing online brochures.
Here is a list of places and events (normal Spring Break stops and U.S. beach towns excluded) that every man should someday hope to travel to. If you have any more to add drop them in the comments.
1. Viking's Exotic Resort
If you would be so inclined, I would like for you to take a moment, remove yourself from your sicking reality, and imagine what your own personal version of complete relaxation and utter paradise would be like. I bet you are in the Caribbean or on some island somewhere, aren't you? Is your wife or girlfriend there with you? Or are you being waited on, hand and foot, all day long -- like a god damn sultan -- by aspiring Eastern European models, who, by the way, you also get to f*ck the stuffing out of day and night at your leisure? Are you also envisioning a scenario that when you get sick of f*cking the smoking-hot broad that you could trade her in -- like a used car -- for a new model? I hope you are. I have never had the privilege of going to a Viking's Exotic Resort (it runs about $7,000 for the week), but according to what I have read on their website, this is the brand of bliss they offer.
Sin City, you've heard about it, and it is everything you could possibly imagine it to be: Hookers, booze, gambling, and just about every other un-pure thing you'd want to find. Vegas is what you make of it, so go with a group of guys who all want to party frivolously. Another good idea is to go when pools are open and be sure to spend a few days acting like a buffoon poolside at the Hard Rock. If you want to see complete insanity go during a holiday weekend like Memorial Day.
3. The Dominican Republic via DR Nights Resort
This place is eerily similar to Viking's Exotic Resort but it's on a much smaller and affordable scale. This is also the last exotic resort on the list because, let's face it, if you can't get laid outside of the U.S. (without paying for it), then you're softer than a newborn's head. I actually am more drawn to DR than I was to Viking's because they boast a Golf and Sex package: five days and four nights of island golfing and island f*cking all for the measly price of $5,000. Drag three buddies along to make it a golf weekend none of you will forget. If you need more convincing, go here for their Top 10 reasons why you should check out DR Nights.
This fabricated wonderland, which is now in economic disarray because of its abrupt growth and inept accounting, is home to the most unique man-made attractions in the entire world. With islands in the shape of a palm tree, another set in the shape of the globe, the world's tallest building, the world's only seven-star (yes, seven) hotel, and the largest indoor skiing facility in the world, it is no wonder why Dubai seems like a legit destination to see at least once in your lifetime. Just take note that this might not be the type of trip where you come back with stories about f*cking a ton of chicks because there is a disgusting 4-to-1 male-to-female ratio.
5. Oktoberfest, Germany
Germany is home to over 800 unique breweries and plenty of women who will swoon over you because of your American accent. Unlike a lot of other countries, Germans, especially the women, are very welcoming to Americans. It was also surprising to me that a large number of them speak flawless English. For example, while traveling for work in Germany, I met this broad who was working at the mall next to my hotel; she spoke English without an accent and she claimed to have never set foot on U.S. soil. When I asked her how that was f*cking possible, she said that she grew up watching MTV. Carson Daly taught her how to speak English while Madonna taught her how to be a hoe.