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The NSA Also Kept Tabs on What Muslims Jacked Off To

By / 11.27.13

With so many people around, your friend will be embarrassed and will sheepishly skulk away, automatically losing the argument. Man, that would be such a thrilling victory. 

Well, this hypothetical is actually real, and in this real situation, you are the NSA and your friend is a Muslim terrorist hell-bent on wreaking havoc in the Western world. Wait, what?

The National Security Agency has been gathering records of online sexual activity and evidence of visits to pornographic websites as part of a proposed plan to harm the reputations of those whom the agency believes are radicalizing others through incendiary speeches, according to a top-secret NSA document. 

“Do you really have faith in this man?” says the NSA, pointing at the radical cleric holding a burning American flag. “He watches more Jenna Jameson porn than Faye Reagan porn, when everyone knows Jenna Jameson was washed up years ago and Faye Reagan was a 2009 AVN nominee for Best Oral Sex Scene.”

The enraged masses dissipated soon there after, ashamed of their disgraced idol. And Lo, as the Bible foretold, it was the pornstars who brought peace upon this land. 

[Via The Huffington Post; Porn image via Shutterstock]


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David Covucci
About David Covucci... David Covucci is writerer-bloggerer for BroBible dot com. He loves Twitter and whiskey. He can be reached at david.covucci@brobible.com.

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