‘The Day I Partied with Joey Chestnut’

It all started off as a normal Sunday at Salisbury University when my buddies and I got together and headed off to a local event. It was called “Pork in the Park” and was a glorious weekend of drinking and eating barbecue from some of the top barbecue vendors in the nation. We head down, eat, get some drinks, and then head off to watch the wing-eating contest. This featured many popular eaters, so naturally everyone in the crowd was pumped up with alcohol and good ole' American competitiveness. They introduce the contestants and eventually Joey Chestnut, the man himself, walks out to cheers all around. I don't think I've ever seen a man eat so many wings so fast. He ended up eating 208 wings in 10 glorious minutes beating the dastardly Black Widow. It was astounding. 

Anyway, a guy I knew ended up meeting up with Joey and getting his number telling him to come over later and drink. To everyone's surprise he actually comes to the house. My buddies and I immediately head over to the house in order to drink with the king himself. Naturally we all wanted to see how fast this beast could shotgun a beer. We timed him, expecting 4 seconds or something pretty average. He shocked everyone doing it in 1 second. Literally, he brought the can up and immediately put it back down finishing the whole beer. This only made us make him do more (5-6 in a row I believe).

After all that we had him regale us with stories of everything he's done and other colleges he went to. Let's just say, the man is a pro. We eventually brought out Das Boot to play Macho Man. If you've never heard of it you're not living). Essentially you fill it up and then pass it around and drink as much as you can all the while singing “I wanna be a macho man, macho, macho, macho man.” Everyone is yelling as loud as they can and pounding on walls, doors, and tables. I had the boot passed to me and eventually I passed it to Joey. it was 3/4 full as only two people before him drank. We all wait to see what he does. Now, if you've seen a real Das Boot, you know how large they are, capable of holding 10 or so beers, Joey took one look at and chugged the rest of the boot in one go. Everyone started yelling, as it was something we've never seen happen due to the quantity of beer in the boot.

Of course we immediately start up another round and keep playing. This continues throughout the night and so on until we’ve run the course of all the cases of beer and everyone is rightfully hammered. I think he drank close to 40-50 beers that night as we constantly had him shotgun one and never let him keep an empty in his hand. Eventually everyone leaves around 2 or so. The next morning is only what I’ve heard through people. The man ended up passing out on the couch in just his boxers, missing his plane, and then ended up leaving his shoes and pants in the house as he left that morning to go back to his hotel.

It is still to this day one of the coolest nights I've experienced. Biggest thing I got out of the night is that competitive eaters make bank and that Joey Chestnut is the absolute man.

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Joey Chestnut pic via Wikipedia.