The Art of the Booty Call

What a good little set-up you’ve got for yourself; non-committal sex with a smokin’ hot lady friend. But is that all it really is? Is this chick really so cool, that’s she’s okay with getting freaky in the sheets and ignoring each other on the streets? Or are there maybe a few other things to consider, such as her motives and the possibility of other nighttime gentleman friends?

If a girl is texting you past midnight asking about your whereabouts, she either really likes your company or really likes your sex, and more than likely it’s both. Sex has to be ridiculously good for a girl to keep doing it with someone she can’t stand. So either way, pat yourself on the back.

Does this girl enjoy pillow talk before and after? Does she laugh at all of your jokes and try to make you feel like you’re “the man”? If you weren’t consumed with your bachelor lifestyle, would you maybe consider actually dating her? If you answered yes, chances are this girl is into you in a big way. Females are funny creatures who are often times delusional when it comes to men. They’ve read Cosmo after Cosmo telling them that men think about sex every seven minutes or some bullshit so they’ve been brainwashed into thinking that’s the key to a man’s heart; If you can please him in his pants, the rest will fall into place. Now I’m not saying that this can’t or doesn’t happen but it’s the exception and not the rule. However, it’s probably the most common type of female booty caller so if you’re not into the girl like that, let her down easy. Back up off the late night calls for a bit so she gets the picture and doesn’t start photo shopping your baby photos together to see what your future children would look like. Or if you do enjoy her as much as she seems to enjoy you, here’s an idea: take her out on a real date, one that starts before midnight and involves a meal or something. Get to know the person you’re literally sticking yourself into and find out if it could be something more.

The second type of girl is the “gimme girl,” gimme love, gimme attention, gimme the D. She’s the girl that flitters from one bad relationship to the next looking for someone to finally show her that she’s worth settling down for. She might be categorized as a “clinger” but that doesn’t stop you from taking care of your own needs on a Friday night and ignoring her texts all of Saturday. Chances are you could hit on girls all night right in front of her and after a few slick lines, she’s still going home with you. But chances are any guy she’s interested in could do the same so don’t feel too special. I’m not encouraging you to be that guy but if she’s going to be that girl then I guess maybe you’re perfect for each other.

Next is what you gentleman would probably refer to as “the sweet spot”. This girl is your friend, she likes you but not enough to be with you. You guys can hang out, go out, spend time together as normal friends. But when this girl has spent an evening sipping vodka sodas with her girlfriends, it’s game on and she’s ready to go to Pleasureville. What you might not know is that while she’s your “sweet spot,” you’re her “safety net”. She knows what she’s going to get what she wants from you and she doesn’t have to add another notch in her proverbial belt. And because she seems so laid-back and fun, you might even fall for her only to have her give you the run around. Fear not though gentleman, as long as you avoid being the “gimme guy” you can continue your nighttime arrangement until she decides she wants a parachute instead of a safety net.

Unfortunately, as you know, females aren’t that easily classified and she might be a combination of the types of booty callers. Try to read into her actions a little more and figure out what exactly she’s looking for out of your tryst. Or don’t and wait for it to blow up in your face or fizzle out, it’s really up to you fellas.

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