I’ll never forget my first computer. My eighth birthday just passed when my Dad wheeled that boxy Hewlett Packard into my bedroom. From that instant, I was hooked. TV and videogames were fine, but the Internet was different. I could spend hours in front of that glassy screen, navigating through endless pages of entertainment….and that was before I was into porn. Fast-forward fifteen years and not much has changed. In fact, I now contribute to that infinite portal known as the World Wide Web. So while I now pledge unwavering loyalty to BroBible, let’s look back at some classic childhood websites. I hope they were as detrimental to your youth as they were mine. I proudly present the 5 Classic Websites from Back in the Day.
Newgrounds
With Flash games where you could assassinate the Backstreet Boys, sniff coke with the Teletubbies and beat up Britney Spears, Newgrounds was the perfect website for an angst-ridden 4th grader. Plus, it had the Portal: a revolutionary way for users to submit their own creative content, which is now the norm on any site. It’s gone on to become a monster in the weirdo-comic–nerd market, but I’ll never forget those revolutionary early days.
eBaum’s World
Before YouTube, eBaum’s was the place to go for funny videos, stupid videos, and funny-stupid videos. Classics like “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” and “Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis” went viral before anyone heard the term. Plus, eBaum’s was popular for soundboards. I spent many a sleepover prank calling the weird kid in class as Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Rotten
I think this is the one that ruined me forever. Rotten was the original “shock site” featuring pictures of gory autopsies and gross sex acts. It was the ultimate forbidden fruit, and a personal favorite of mine. I think that explains a lot. Either way, there is no doubt that one of your friends forced you to check it out at one point or another.
Addicting Games (photo above)
This was a favorite on school premises. Low-fi diversions like Slime Volleyball, Helicopter and Hit the Penguin were precursors to pick-up-and-play iPhone apps we love today. Angry Birds is great, but Bubble Trouble holds a special place in my heart.
AOL Profile/Homepages
Hobbies: Girls!!!! Chilling with my friends- whatup Matt and Jeff! LIMP BIZKIT
Before there was MySpace, Facebook, or even BlackPeopleMeet, there was AOL. The profile was great for dropping a classic Dave Matthews quote or giving shout-outs to the soccer team. I personally was a big homepage guy. It was a great place to express one’s self. I had sick .gif of blood dripping down the page. Maybe a dancing baby or two. Don’t forget that MIDI version of “No Scrubs”. Individuality at it’s finest.
Did you fox with these websites? Have another classic page? Let me know in the Comments section. Also, if you missed my latest video: check it out here:
Krum is an NYC based comedian. Follow him on Twitter @KrumLifeDotCom
