Look, there’s a lot to be said for forgiving and forgetting, but there’s more to be said for standing up for your precious scrotum.
A mother who was jailed for biting off her partner's testicles has been back in court after the pair rekindled their romance.
Martin Douglas required emergency surgery and 19 stitches to re-attach his scrotum after the drunken assault by his then-girlfriend Maria Topp.
But after rekindling their unlikely romance Topp says she was 'stabbed in the back' by Mr. Douglas after he reported her to police for breaching her restraining order.
Sweet mother of God. She must be absolutely lights-out in bed or rich or …. or something. What’s this guy thinking?
Topp, 45, had a ‘friendly chat’ with her ex-flame when they bumped into each other in Yates’ wine bar in the city centre.
She then sent Mr Douglas a text asking ‘Do you still love me?’
Topp and Mr Douglas resumed their old relationship, which fizzled out again in June this year at which point Mr Douglas reported Topp’s breach of her restraining order.
Appearing in Newcastle Magistrate’s Court Topp pleaded guilty to breaching a restraining order.
Prosecuting, David Thompson said: 'This is a breach of a restraining order where the relationship ended against a backdrop of domestic violence for which Ms Topp was convicted in November last year.
If these two can’t make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us. Love is dead.
In the ironic-quote department, Topp is crushed by the so-called “savage” way her lover treated her ball-biting heart.
According to Ms Topp the pair split after a falling out when their car got stuck in Birtley, Gateshead on the day of a huge storm in June.
She said: 'The next thing I knew was when I saw the police outside my flat and they said they had a complaint from Martin Douglas saying I was harassing him with texts and phone calls.
'I was arrested and charged with harassment and breaching my order. I never thought he would do something like this. It is a stab in the back. People think I am some sort of savage because of the testicle thing but I’m not that sort of person.'