It seems like every day I get more and more people asking me “What do you say to her? Tell me some great openers." Guys in clubs approach me and ask, “What did you say to her?” I have a different question… why are all of you so hung up on what to say?
Most of these guys want to know the opening line I use as if I had one. Even if I did have a particular one that worked great, they’d just think that using that line is the only thing they need to bang some chick.
Heck, sometimes I tell dudes exactly what I said and just watch them standing there, looking at girls go by, thinking what would have been if they used that “not so amazing” line I just told them. It’s as if, what you say to a girl is the reason you’re able to approach and open that girl. It’s not. Confidence is. My confidence is the reason I can approach 10x girls a night without regret. Confidence is the reason I’m still approaching girls after I get rejected, not the line I used.
It’s not a bad thing that they ask. Asking can give them ideas, but those ideas are useless unless one’s actually going to use them. Plus, what you say bares little importance compared to how you say it, how you present yourself and your energy.
I know this because I’ve used some of the most uninteresting and average lines ever. The last one that got me a same night lay was “Hi, I’m Alex, you are…” – How is that even worth talking about? It’s not. The one before was “Do I need huge muscles to talk to you?” (What?...yeah) Everybody seemed buffed up in that club so I figured it’ll work. It did, she smiled, we talked, we banged.
Also, more than half the time, especially in clubs, girl don’t even understand what I’m saying when I first start talking. I’m just looking into their eyes, smiling, giving her my hand, shaking it, and then unveiling some quality game.
The whole point of the opener is to get your foot in the door. Once you’re there, you can spit proper game that will get you laid. The first line will never be anything but that… unless it’s the classical “Hi I’m Alex, wanna fuck?” – which hardly ever works.
The lack of an amazing opening line should never be a reason NOT to approach some girl. Say whatever comes to mind, say whatever you can come up with, say something based on your surroundings but for god’s sake, say something.
The other night this chick was looking at some guy (not me) so I went up to her and said “You should have given him your number, but it’s too late now” she asked, “Why is that?” “Because you’re talking to me now…” she smiled.
It’s about looking for opportunities (if there’s any) and taking advantage of them. Another night I saw this rude looking dude hassling some chick. I waited for a few seconds for her to reject him and stepped in and said, “Aren’t we glad that’s over with?” she said “Tell me about it…” then I said “I know how you feel, I just hate it when I’m sitting here wanting to relax and all these girls come and hassle me” she laughed…like that ever happens.
The lack of opportunities doesn’t mean you shouldn’t approach women. If there’s no guys hassling them, if there’s no alone chicks at the bar, that doesn’t mean the night’s over. Look around, see them standing, go up there and talk to groups.
As long as you’re smiling and acting like you’re saying something funny, believe me, you don’t even need to speak any words, especially if you’re approaching groups in loud places.
A few weeks ago I told my friends about this theory. They obviously didn’t believe me so we went out to test it. It was 3 of us and I noticed a group of 3 girls. I went up to them, smiled, touched two of them on the shoulders, got in between them and said “Jiberish jiberish jiberish, jiberish….” then I started laughing as if I made a joke, looked at my friends they started being amused, looked back at the girls they were all laughing. I then made the introductions and started gaming the hottest chick. Didn’t bang her that night but, it’s probably NOT because of that amazing opener.
The whole point here is to understand that what you say doesn’t really matter. I know many of you out there are hung up on openers, acting like you’re not approaching women because you don’t really know what to say. Most of you are using this as an excuse when in fact it’s nothing like that and I’ve just proved it.
Don’t be that guy that doesn’t get laid because he thinks the opening line is what he needs to get laid…because it’s not. It’s your personality, the game you spit, the quality of the chick and pretty much everything else EXCEPT the opener.
This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your success with women, visit ThePlayerGuide.com – a place where the dating mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting and seducing women.
[Dating image via ShutterStock]