Meet The Man Who Likes To Rub His Penis Against Women On The Subway But Doesn’t Think That’s Sexual Harassment

Shutterstock

Of course he’s French. Only a fucking Frenchmen could be like, “Yooou zee, it is not about zeee ses. Maah peeness, she just like to be touch zee subway rider.”

Fucking the French.

This is actually a problem in society. If you’ve ever ridden the subway, especially in New York, you’ve heard announcements denouncing “unlawful sexual conduct.” That’s astounding that dudes need to be reminded that they can’t just rub their dicks up against whoever they want.

But then you meet Maxine, and you realize that the majority of men on this planet are incompetent, self-centered horn dogs (me inculded!).

Vice France caught up with the guy who likes to touch his penis against ladies in public, and wow. He sounds like someone who loves to touch his penis against ladies in public.

Bee tee dubs, he’s been doing this for TWENTY YEARS.

VICE: Hey Maxine, so you are into fantasizing about women on trains. What’s the deal with that?
Maxine: Basically, proximity on public transport is something that hugely excites me and has done for years. I get a lot of heat for it on different forums, to be honest. People calling me things like “pervert,” “sick,” or “disturbed”—you hear those words a lot. But I just want to clarify: I am not a sex offender. I’ve never made a salacious remark to a girl or touched her breasts or anything like that. I’m not what you’d call a predator.

BUT? You do rub your dicks against unsuspecting women, right? Only — he clarifies — if he’s nearby and gets hard.

Like I’ve said, there is a distinction. I’ve never insulted a woman, shown my penis, or tried to stick my hand up their skirt. I condemn all of those things. As far as I know, proximity in public transport isn’t a crime—even if it sometimes results in uncontrolled erections. Look at nightclubs. It’s not strange to rub up against a stranger while you’re dancing, you know? Guys who do that aren’t considered perverts. Why are things on a train different?

Yea. Yea. Why shouldn’t a commute to work be just like a bar on a Friday night? Booze, tunes, going to bed instead of the office after. Sounds fantastic. Of course, he blames a woman for this fetish.

It all started with this one businesswoman in a skirt suit—I suppose what you’d call a MILF these days—who was forced to push her breasts up against me on the train because it was so packed. I was a kid and it had a huge effect on me. Ever since that day, I’ve spent a lot of my spare time on the metro.

The French are fucking weird. And dudes are pervs.

Soooo, friendly reminder, don’t be a pervert. Especially in public. It’s really easy to not rub your dick against someone. You can read the whole interview (and I highly suggest you do) here.