Over the past two years I've been accused, by a few members of society, of writing some rather lecherous shit. Nothing, however, has brought me more grief than when I mention how much fervor college chicks have for getting f*cked -- as if I'm the first person to unearth this information. Fathers have emailed me, broads sent me messages asking me if I have a soul (those don't exist, folks), and I just take it all in stride because, for one, I really don't give a shit and, more importantly, I know exactly what goes on after-hours on most college campuses. I mean, are these people that naive or impervious to what takes place?
Well now, as luck would have it, a rather irresponsible study has come to our attention stating that those fathers should be thanking Bros everywhere because your unsheathed cock might just be his daughter's savior. (Of course the whole "irresponsible" part is that it could be her undoer as well if you're highly diseased or your fish swim really well, but for the sake of this argument and the study's finding, let's assume we're all clean and sterile.)
We've got to give a hat tip to our friends at The Smoking Jacket for finding this study conducted by the State University of New York on 300 female students. It claims that women who have unprotected sex on the reg are absolutely loving life. And, in fact, they are not only happier than their counterparts who use protection (or don't get dicked at all), but they are also less likely to take their own lives. According to the researchers, c*m elevates females moods (go figure) and they experience withdrawal without it. And Rick James thought cocaine was one hell of a drug.
Clearly this study doesn't mention that unprotected sex has its pitfalls, and you are all likely aware of them, but here is a small except that I found interesting from the extensive article:
Women who engaged in sex and 'never' used condoms showed significantly fewer depressive symptoms than did those who 'usually' or 'always' used condoms. Importantly, these chronically condomless, sexually active women also evidenced fewer depressive symptoms than did those who abstained from sex altogether. By contrast, sexually active women, even really promiscuous ones, who used condoms were just as depressed as those practicing total abstinence. In other words, it’s not just that women who are having sex are simply happier, but instead happiness appears to be a function of the ambient seminal fluid pulsing through one’s veins.
And it gets better. A smaller percentage (4.5 percent) of the sexually active women who “never” used condoms were less likely to have attempted suicide than were those who “sometimes” (7.4 percent) and “usually” (28.9 percent) and “always” (13.2 percent) used condoms.
So what does this mean for you? Well, probably nothing because if you were going to wrap it up or vice versa, this news certainly isn't going to make you do the opposite. But, I suppose the next time you find yourself f*cking a random chick without a rubber you can remember that you don't need a child and that you probably already left a little pre-c*m in her, which will apparently save her life. So keep that good deed in mind as you shimmy up her torso and blow your load on her face. And when she is inevitably like, "What the f*ck, Kevin?" you can take solace in knowing that even heroism can be a thankless endeavor.