Q. I have been seeing this girl for a few weeks and we've slept together but the thing is, she won't go down on me unless I wear a condom. What gives and how can I get her to stop?
A. What. The. Fuck? This chick sounds abominable. I mean, come-the-f*ck-on, Bro. If her blowing you like a normal human being is off-limits then I'd have to imagine wrecking that puss raw, and emptying the entire clip all over her craw, is a f*cking pipe dream, huh?
I can't pretend that I have any idea what condom head feels like. The mere thought of it is absurd and something out of a latex fetish fantasy or a scenario used for men with no dick control. Although, I do imagine that it has got to be horrible and desensitized to the point of why bother. Can you even feel anything?
If I were you, the whole blow job with a condom thing would not fly. Does she toss on a dental dam when your mouth feeding or does her pleasure supersede any health risks? I bet it's the latter. I've got no real advice on how to change this, but I do know that getting blown with a condom on is no way to go through life. And you should honestly just flush this turd. She probably is uptight or she has oral herpes. Either way, you lose.
Q. I'll keep it short. There's a girl who is mistaking me being nice as me liking her so now she is like crushing on me and stuff and always blowing up my phone with texts and it just got to the point where I think she told her parents that we're dating but I have no interest in her that way and I thought that you Bros would be my best hope for a good way out of this. So please help me out.
A. She told her parents? Dude, you are f*cked. Looks like you're stuck marrying this b*tch. But seriously, pump some gasoline into that empty scrotum of yours and tell that dumb b*tch the deal.
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