Proof That New Yorkers Are Yuppie Scum: 27-Year-Old PR Girl Is Spending $11,000 On Sushi Delivery A Year

I live in New York City. I have a decent job that pays the bills. I’m in my late 20s. I order food a couple times a week — especially around 2AM on Friday nights — on Seamless.

And I fucking hate myself for it.

As if you didn’t already think New York City’s millennial, post-grad 20-something residents are pretentious yuppie assholes, an article published in yesterday’s New York Post pretty much confirms it. Titled “I spent $11,000 a year on takeout!”, NY Post feature editor Tim Donnelly documents the cultural phenomenon of young 20-somethings ordering delivery via a couple taps or clicks on Seamless. Gone are the days of Elaine getting in a phone confrontation about the delivery radius of China Panda:

Seamless, as wonderful and magic as it is for ordering delivery, is creating a modern type of lazy yuppieness that would make Patrick Bateman cringe. Take, for example, one of our city’s tens of thousands of 20-something PR professionals, 27-year-old Kris Ruby. As she tells the Post, her sushi habit is costing her an estimated $11,000 a year:

A few months ago, Kris Ruby lost her credit card and briefly had to borrow her dad’s while waiting for the replacement.

When her dad saw the bill, it wasn’t clothes, cabs or nightclub charges that gave him a fright — it was sushi.

“Dad was like, ‘What are all these charges for Seamless?’ ” Ruby, 27, recalls.

She used his card for just one week, but in that amount of time she racked up about $225 worth of sushi, superfood salads and other takeout to her Wall Street home.

He promptly banned her from using his card on any future delivery purchases.

“I felt like it was my guilty little pleasure and secret,” Ruby says. “I couldn’t wait to put my own card back on it so no one could see my meals.”

Ordering through Seamless’ handy delivery app almost every night chomps $900 a month off Ruby’s salary as president of her own p.r. and social media agency — almost $11,000 a year, enough for 98 unlimited MetroCards or 4,720 slices of pizza.

But don’t worry! At least she feels some semblance of guilt about such an expensive food habit.

“Oh, my God, this is shocking,” she says, when realizing just how much she spends. “Sometimes I look at this and I’m like, ‘I need to stop this with Seamless.’ ”

Others are spending their share of an average Manhattan rent (think ~1200 – $2000 a month… yes, it’s really expensive here) on their delivery lunches alone:

Jason Saltzman, 36, the founder of Midtown co-working space AlleyNYC, recently tallied up all the delivery food he’s ordered into his office in the past few weeks.

He averaged $20 per meal, sometimes three meals a day — including baked clams from Pizza Italia, egg whites from Guy & Gallard, and his “cheat day” splurges of a bagel with cream cheese from Murray’s Bagels and chicken lo mein from Chef Yu — his absolute favorite meal. The total? $1,800 a month.

“That’s rent!” he exclaims.

If you live in middle America (a.k.a. “the flyover states”) and are already of the attitude that New Yorkers are pretentious, elitist coastal dickbags, this is just fuel to your fire. Spending a couple hundred on delivery salads on Seamless is one thing. But now there’s a NEW ultimate yuppie scum food delivery service, called “Caviar,” which makes me want to throw fistfuls of Hudson Valley-sourced kale at a fucking wall:

Rameet Chawla, 31, is a devotee of Caviar, which launched in Manhattan in November 2013 and just started servicing Brooklyn last week, and targets high-end restaurants and places that don’t normally deliver. (And yes, you can get caviar brought to your door.)

“Seamless is . . . great for your average Joe who isn’t into artisanal food at all,” says Chawla, founder of Fueled, an app and mobile design company based in Soho. Caviar lets you “order from restaurants that are too cool to deliver. Those are typically the restaurants you want to eat from.”

He estimates that he forks over $1,200 each month on lunch and juices alone, typically starting his day with a coconut water from Juice Generation, summoning a lunch of lobster rolls, duck confit salads or Thai sausages, and finishing the work day with a smoothie.

Read the words in bold again. “Seamless is . . . great for your average Joe who isn’t into artisanal food at all.” Those are words that came out of someone’s mouth. These are words that indicate New York’s rich hipster yuppies have reached a NEW LEVEL of pretentious douchiness. This is worse than the tasteful thickness of Paul Allen’s business card.

I LOVE many delicious only-in-New York culinary treats and don’t mind spending the coin for it, but if I really want Momofuku pork belly ramen or a lamb meatball sandwich from the Meatball Shop or a fucking Luke’s Lobster roll, I’ll get my ass off the couch for a whole 20 minutes and go get it. Even better, I’ll do some dining with friends. It’s called a nice night out.

And this is why I hate myself for ordering Seamless with the frequency that I do. I hate how lazy it makes me. Once upon a time, no matter the time or day or weather, I’d call a pizza joint or diner up to order take out. Then I’d walk down the street, pay, go home, and eat. Then I discovered Seamless, with its endless culinary options, delivery minimums, and occasionally 20% discounts off “that Thai place I’ve been meaning to try.” I love the convenience, but hate how easily it can turn you into a socially-awkward hermit in the best city in the world. If you live in New York just to be holed up in your apartment over a delivered bowl of drunken noodles, what’s the point of living in New York?

But then again, that “Seamless is . . . great for your average Joe who isn’t into artisanal food at all” quote is coming from an guy who admitted this:

Chawla, who has never used his kitchen in the three years he’s lived in his apartment, says he’s too busy to cook — or to personally track down his next meal.

“It’s all about saving time for me. I have a tough schedule,” he says.

Are you kidding me? Yes, life is SO HARD when you work five minutes from a Dean and Delucca AND a Whole Foods. Buying groceries to cook is SO INCONVENIENT. The weird thing is Chawla’s attitude is the norm to a certain type of New Yorker; there are many rich, successful yuppie elitists who never turn on their Viking gas stoves in their $4000 a month apartments. Our office is in Soho too, yet I’m able to prepare some pretty delicious meals for under $15 AT LEAST three times a week. Even if you’re a gourmand who enjoys the finer things in life, “being busy” isn’t an excuse when it comes to being able to prepare a meal for yourself. That’s called “being lazy.”

As I’ve long suspected, Manhattan (and Brooklyn) really is a rich kid post-grad paradise of Peter Pan millennials who work in finance, PR, tech, advertising, and media who never want to grow up and want life delivered to their door.  In conclusion, if you already think your friend who moved to New York after college is a yuppie scumbag, well — you’re kind of right.

“”

Now where’s my goddamn kale and Dragon roll?

Woman eating sushi pic via Shutterstock

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher, writing on this site since 2009. He writes about sports, music, men's fashion, outdoor gear, traveling, skiing, and epic adventures. Based in Los Angeles, he also enjoys interviewing athletes and entertainers. Proud Penn State alum, former New Yorker. Email: brandon@brobible.com