Pretty Soon You Won’t Even Need Your Hands to Jack Off

Meet… I don’t know. It doesn’t have a name yet. Watch it pump and thrust, like a genial, prolapsed Sarlaac pit.

It’s… wait for it… Asian. Of course. China to be precise, though had you made me make a blind guess, I would have gone Japan. It’s called an automatic sperm extractor and is designed for men who have trouble masturbating at the doctor’s office (be it to donate, store or test for swimmer density).

But the odds it becomes adapted for home use within nine months? 100 percent.

[Via Brandon and Cass and I Fucking Love Science]