Admit it, you got Snapchat for one reason and one reason only. Your bro’s told you the stories of all the, let’s call them digital Jack Dawson illustrations they’ve been receiving. However, aside from a few ill-fated attempts at humor and some occasional poop snaps you’ve received from your boys, things may be a little slow. In fact, most of the snaps you’ve received from the fairer sex probably look a little something like these.
“Legs Or Hot Dogs?”
You probably saw this one coming. I don’t think there is a young lady out there from coast to coast that hasn’t sent a “legs or hot dogs” snap at some point in their lives. Just a classic, respectable option right here. I mean, how else are you going to let your circle of friends know that you’re sitting poolside for the 40th time this summer? Oh, and for the record, hot dogs. I always guess hot dogs.
The Early Morning Snap
The early morning snap is quickly rivaling the “legs or hot dogs” snap for the most common snap you’ll receive from your lady friends this summer. Most of these snaps will be captioned something along the lines of “I woke up like this #flawless,” but being the sharp natured young gentleman that I am, I’m going to call bullshit on this one. For starters, you look way too hot and way too together to have literally just awoken from a drunken slumber. Want to know how I woke up this morning? Naked, with one leg hanging off the bed and a mouth that’s drier than the Sahara Desert. Not buying it ladies, not buying it at all.
Getting Ready To Go Out
I like to try to imagine a girl’s thought process before taking this snap. I imagine it goes something like, “Oh, let me make sure that my hair and everything is positioned just right. Better do it now, because in two hours I’ll be dancing and sweating profusely in a crowded bar that smells strikingly similar to a Tijuana steam room. But first, let me take a selfie!” Did I nail that or what, ladies?
The Cab Ride Home
This snap is usually received between the hours of 2 and 4 AM and is generally received in a video format as opposed to the standard still image format. That’s really I can tell you as most of the time this snap consists of 3-5 girls dancing incoherently in the back of some poor sap’s cab. What are they listening to, who knows? Hell, I’m not even sure if this girl is speaking English at this point.
I’m sure most of you have received countless amounts of this classic. I mean, how else would I know you’re having day drinks with your BFF’s? I appreciate it though ladies, really. God forbid I’ve forgotten what an ice cold Bud Light looks like. It’s only been about five minutes since I last had one.
The Car Selfie
I REALLY don’t understand this “let me take a selfie while operating a moving vehicle” fascination, ladies. Like literally, my mind is blown. What is it about the car that’s so special? To each their own, I suppose. Just don’t rear-end me toots, otherwise we’ll have some serious problems.
Self explanatory. If you’re receiving the nudes, congrats. You win Snapchat.
I want more like this!
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