In fact, what if our bodies are trying to tell us something? What if ball-grabbing—long scorned by polite society as disgusting and strange—is actually an evolutionary step, an involuntary way that guys make sure they're healthy? Like blinking, or something?
I think I'm on to something.
From the Telegraph:
Researchers have found that men with larger testes have a heightened risk of being taken to hospital with heart problems.
The scientists suggest that larger testicles may be a sign of poor health and could be used as a measure of heart disease risk.
Giulia Rasterelli, who led the new study at the sexual medicine and andrology unit at the University of Florence, Italy, said: “Although it is generally assumed that testis size can predict reproductive fitness, our results indicate that this objective parameter can provide insights also on overall health and [cardiovascular disease] risk.”
“Further studies are needed for clarifying determinants and mechanisms of testis enlargement that… could mediate the increased incidence of major adverse cardiovascular events.”
You catch that, world? Teste size can signify an increased risk of heart attack. It's therefore intrinsically important that we get to wear sweatpants and walk around with our hands down our pants AT ALL TIMES. In fact, it may save us all.