Here Are The Sex Moves Women Hate So KNOCK IT OFF, BROS

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Women lie. Especially in bed. They fib to protect the fragile egos of men. It’s the worst idea ever. It makes terrible lovers think they’re good, good lovers think they’re great and — since there’s really no such think as an amazing lover — it makes the best of men in the sack think they’re half Ryan Gosling in The Notebook and half James Deen in any porn he’s ever done.

Women should stop lying. They shouldn’t be mean but they should “oh” and “ah” and deliver the faux O when it’s not the truth. They should be honest for their own pleasure and our own good. It’s in the best interest of all involved. If women are afraid to verbally point out the sex moves that do nothing for them, at the very least a random tweet or FB posting of this list of the 10 sex moves women hate the most compiled by AskMen might clue a guy in that he’s not the pounding powerhouse he sees in his mind.

Among the sex moves that men need to stop are thrusting way longer than necessary — ladies don’t want a minute man but their not always up for a marathon either — fingering like a guy is trying to fish a set of keys out of her vagina, switching up positions constantly like a camera is watching (side note — don’t EVER record sex unless the women is aware) and spitting on her clit like you’ve just had a bad taste of locks.

Other sex moves that turn a woman off include longer fingernails (seriously dude, put the man in manicure) and uninspired licks to her jelly box.

This advice is coming straight from women, so take heed men, or spend the rest of your days alone and watching James Deen in action instead of trying to emulate him in the sack. (Side note #2 — you can’t, so stop trying.)

[via Ask Men]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.