Tamara Samsonova is my new role model, not just because she’s managed to (ALLEGEDLY) chop people up for 20 years without getting caught, and not just because she (ALLEGEDLY) ate them too, but because she does not give a single edible fuck. At all. Did you watch the video up there? Bitch is carrying around a severed head in a cooking pot nonchalantly like it’s a vegetable stew or some shit. Could not care, does not care, and will not care EVER despite the fact that she’s been arrested. According to Daily Mail,
Samsonova has confessed to killing 79-year-old Valentina Ulanova, for whom she was a carer, and using a hacksaw to cut up her body, it is reported in Russia.
She is said to have carried the dismembered body parts belonging to Mrs Ulanova out of her apartment block in plastic bags, put her victim’s severed head into the cooking pan and carefully carried it downstairs.
Police in Russia have still not found the head or the saucepan, which may have been thrown in the rubbish and taken to landfill.
Natalia Fedotovskaya, friend and neighbour to Mrs Ulanova, told MailOnline: ‘The head which she took out in the saucepan is not found yet.
‘I know that police brought Tamara Samsonova here to search for it, and she was taken around the area with policemen. This was in the first days of August, after her arrest.
‘Later, rumours started appearing that Valentina’s head had been found not far from the local school, but this is not true.
‘I think police spread this rumour because they want people here to calm down and stop thinking about this head.
‘In fact, it is very likely that she threw this saucepan with the head into the garbage skip, which is usually taken away on a Saturday morning.
… Several days ago, Mrs Fedotovskaya attended keen gardener Mrs Ulanova’s funeral, she said.
‘We buried her body parts without the head, which hasn’t been found,’ she said, adding that they had been neighbours for 40 years.
And here I am thinking that in order to get away with murder you’re gonna have to sit down with a pen and paper and meticulously plan the whole thing out. Nah, apparently all you have to do is throw the bodies into a dumpster and hope that Horatio Cane doesn’t come along and flip his hot-shit sunglasses all over the place and barf out some bad puns.
Samsonova is currently being held in prison until next month, and upon being escorted out of court she blew kisses to the reporters.
Like I said, role model.
[H/T Daily Mail]