No dicks should go unstroked. Sorry. What I meant to say was no dick’s EGO should go unstroked. We all have that dick friend(s) who just embraces being a dick. He unapologetically lives the dick-lifestyle and constantly is reminded that he’s being a dick. Like when he pulls down all the pants on the mannequins at Dick’s Sporting Goods or when he dines and dashes at Dick’s Last Resort or writes the word “dick” on your resumé moments before your interview. You’ve been humiliated, disgusted, and disappointed in your dick for years, hell, you may even want to choke him on occasion, but he’s taken you out of your comfort zone and provided you with hilarious stories that your less-dickish friends are simply to soft to even attempt. If only there was a way to let your dick know that even though he lets you down often, and he’s impossible to control when he has whiskey in him, that you still love him for getting in sticky situations you otherwise wouldn’t even wet dream of. Wait no longer.
Because now, thanks to a website called You Dick, you can send the dick in your life a trophy letting him know that even though he’s a dick, he’s your dick, and he’s the best at it.
The UK-based company’s product line is as straight forward as they come: dick trophies in four colors (silver, gold, black, bronze) and four sizes (small, medium, large, jumbo). Each dick can be sent with a personalized message, or the company’s default note, “You’re a dick, and someone thought you need a trophy to show it.”
The dicks are very reasonably priced: small ones valued at $9 and jumbo ones priced at $24. You can also get a bundle of dick trophies for $44.
Small, Medium and Large Dick Trophies:
Jumbo Dick (Ya FOR SOME! AMIRIGHT!)
All together now!
I said dick 21 times in this post. Kids, its completely cool if you wanna drop out of school. College degrees aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.
[H/T Elite Daily]