The Washington Post reports today that the Secret Service has in fact been the scene of sexual misconduct for years. Agents have reportedly bought prostitutes in 17 different countries, all with the tacit approval of their supervisors. In one case—in Thailand (of fucking course)—an agent missed his military transport plane because he was wasted in a brothel.
To avoid a delay, a supervisor agreed to stay behind to retrieve him from a Thai brothel, where he was found intoxicated. Senior management agreed to transport the agent back to the United States at great expense on a commercial flight. He faced no punishment, the whistleblower said.
Luckily the United States has no debt.
The investigator on the case is a man by the name of Ignacio Zamora, Jr., who was actually removed from Obama's security detail after he sent sexually explicit emails to a female subordinate. Senator Robert Johnson said having him in charge of an investigation is like the “fox guarding the hen house.”
So if you've ever worried about being fired, just remember: the men entrusted with guarding the president are rarely sober and usually banging hookers. And they're doing just fine.
[H/T: Washington Post]