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One Seattle Cop Wrote 80% Of The City’s 2014 Weed Tickets; Potentially Least Chill Guy Ever

By / 07.31.14

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I thought that weed in Washington state was legal for personal use, but somebody hasn’t told this narc. I guess just because it’s legal, doesn’t mean you can light up a joint in the middle of the park, but most cops have a live and let live mentality about this stuff. Not this boner.

According to Seattle’s Chief of Police, of the 83 tickets issued for publicly smoking marijuana, a single officer was responsible for 66 of them. Is it possible that we’ve uncovered the least chill person on the entire planet?

It seems that even the city was like, “this dude is really killing our vibe here,” because the officer was recently reassigned to a different unit, and has to report to the department’s Office of Professional Accountability, while they completed an investigation into his policing.

Bra-vo. I’ve never heard of a police officer getting in trouble for policing, but the city probably realizes that legal weed is now a big draw for tourists, and if this one lone wolf asshole tries to take the law into his own hands like some one man army, it could mess things up for everyone.

I gotta know what this guy is like. What’s with the vendetta against pot smokers? I feel like when he got reassigned, the convo might’ve gone something like this –

Police Chief: You’re getting reckless, Santiago. This is bigger than me and you. This comes all the way down from Washington… state.
Narc: If you think I’m gonna let these sick, twisted hippies smoke our city into the gutter under my watch, you’ve got another thing coming.
Police Chief: Dammit, Sanitago! This isn’t your war!
Narc: Oh, but it is! Ya see, back in ’95 my little brother Billy got a taste of the sticky stuff. He was smoking two, sometimes three times a month. He was… consumed.
Police Chief: I’m so sorry.
Narc: The marijuana smoking would’ve been torture enough, but then… it happened. Three years after Billy first touched the silent green killer, he… *gets choked up*
Police Chief: It’s gonna be okay, Santia-
Narc: HE MOVED TO VERMONT! He lives in a cabin there with some other people and they produce eco-friendly cutlery. They even compost inside the house. It’s sick.
Police Chief: That’s terrible.
Narc: I swore from that moment on, I wouldn’t ever let a single person’s life go up in smoke the way that Billy’s did. You can take my badge. You can take my gun. You can take my ticket writing thing. But if you think I’m gonna give up on this fight… you’re out of your god damn mind.

PS – Is there any shot that this officer doesn’t have a mustache?

[H/T Gawker]


TAGSnarcsWeedweed arrests
Brandon Cohen
About Brandon Cohen... Brandon Cohen was raised by Jew gypsies on the sleepy island of Manhattan, and went on to defy the odds by graduating from a four-year accredited university in Nashville, TN. He's a writer and aspiring street fight videographer. Back in 2008, Brandon talked to Amanda Bynes at a club in LA for over fifteen minutes.

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