Warning: This movie is rated “R” for romantic (Those under the age of 17 and most high school girls may not be mature enough to see it).
Flash mobs, casual sex, and beautiful getaways on the beach. Spoiler alert: Nope. We’ve all probably watched more of these movies than we like to admit and it could be that I have watched Friends with Benefits one or ten too many times, it could even be that every time I attempt some complex romantic idea it backfires horribly (sprinkling chicken nuggets in the room instead of flower pedals seemed like a good idea), or it could just be that I am angry with the standards that these movies are setting, but these fairy tale endings are ruining the perceptions of ideal relationships and making men everywhere look, well, like assholes. It’s time for bros to stand up for bros. After all, I refuse to compete with Channing Tatum and Justin Timberlake the rest of my life. I just won’t do it. It shouldn’t be profanity and violence that require harsh ratings, but rather kissing in the rain and hot air balloon rides at unrealistic altitudes.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not that I don’t want to believe that these things could happen. I would love if I could go on dates without exchanging any contact information whatsoever (e.g. every movie ever). That’s right ladies, I’m just as romantic as the next guy, but I still can see that coming across the movie Valentine’s Day sets you up for destruction the same way the movie The Ring does, only instead of a creepy demon girl (kinda hot), there are a lot of really good looking famous people. You still get mind-fucked in the end though. Seriously, after watching romantic comedies such as (but not limited to) The Wedding Singer, 50 first dates, She’s Out of My League, and One Night in Paris, I even remember being disappointed if the lunch lady didn’t hit on me at school. Talk about expectations.
Not convinced yet? Let’s take a further look at some examples.
1) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
A writer spends over a week pretending to date a guy just to write a simple news story. That’s healthy. I mean, honestly, I get impatient just waiting for the oven to preheat. It seems to me that this story could have been written without being an awful human being, but in the end (you guessed it) they fall in love.
2) The Proposal
When you get down to it, don’t all great relationships stem from being forced to marry someone so they can keep their visa status and avoid deportation to another country?
3) Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Ok, this was actually pretty good.
4) Something Borrowed
Dude is marrying this chick. He loves someone else. He chases her down to confess. Turns out she loves him too. What the fuck? I have a hard time telling girls that their tag is sticking out of their shirt let alone telling them I love them.
Ok, that's enough...
While I am personally fine with putting myself out there often embarrassingly and making the first move, these movies are reinforcing double standards that we, as men, must always initiate the contact. Besides, we already gave up precious luxuries such as drinking delicious drinks at bars and being able to ask for directions. While no girl has ever expected me to chase her down at the last second while she boards her flight, there are certain expectations that do come along with relationships and many do believe that chivalry is dead, and if it is, rom-coms killed it.
Admittedly, what I am trying to say is: Guys, maybe a date should consist of more than just leftovers and, girls, you have to understand that we will never care about your ombré hair. Ever. Although I don’t completely support the situations portrayed by romantic comedies, I will admit that they almost make me want a relationship. Almost. As long as there can be a compromise between this dreamlike world and relationships in real life, romance will still be alive.