Life
by Brandon Wenerd on June 4, 2014

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This inquiry just landed in the BroBible tip box this afternoon. A “26-year-old retired frat Bro” is looking for a roommate by July 1 in New York City. Since NYC can be a bitch when it comes to finding a normal place to live in the summer, we’re going to ask the BroBible Brommunity to help this guy out.

Dear BroBible,

I am reaching out because I am in a dire situation. I currently live in NYC and need to find a place to live starting July 1st. I have a decent budget of between 1100-1400 a month, but I am having a hard time finding roommates to live with. I am a 26 year old retired frat bro. I work full time in the city, and even though I still love the debauchery that I use to dabble in on a semi regular basis, my current life style does not allow that type of behavior anymore. I am looking to find some bro’s in the same situation as myself to live with. Everyone I know is either already in a living situation or is not the right fit. Craigslist fucking scares the shit out of me, so I am reaching out the bro community to see if you guys any ideas. Please let me know if you think you can help me out.

Best, Retired Frat Bro

Having lived here for years, I’ll tell you that 1100-1400 a month is pretty decent coin for a NYC roommate situation. If you want to live in Manhattan, you’ll get a prime, 2-bedroom (or even a three bedroom) with your own bedroom (it won’t be big, but whatever) in the East Village near kickass bars like Doc Holidays and 7B and 9th ward and Ace Bar and Jimmy’s No. 43 and Spankys and Darlas. Fuck the 13th Step. Also: They just opened up as kickass, cheap Jamaican restaurant and the best BBQ place in Manhattan is on 2nd Ave. Every basic girl in the world goes to Thompkins Square Bagels on Saturday mornings and chicks loooovvvvvvvveeeeeee Westville East. Something, something about their dijon brussel sprouts.

You’ll also be able to afford a really nice spot in Brooklyn. You’ll be cooler than cool. Despite the hipster stereotype, it’s BRO AS FUCK these days. We promise not everyone that lives there is a bearded asshole who wears a fedora.

You’ll also be able to afford a decent spot in Murray Hill or the Upper East Side, but honestly, those places are boring as fuck. Murray Hill has some appeal for the recent grad crowd, but who in their right mind would live within three blocks of a Brother Jimmys past the age of 24? Those are ‘hoods for basic Bros who live with their girlfriends/wives and/or lack a certain sense of adventure. The girls all work for lame PR factories or basic bitch fashion companies, like J.C. Penny. Also: The Stumble Inn blows.

Anyway, let’s help this Retired Frat Bro find a roommate, NYC BroBible readers. Fill out the JotForm below and all the requests will be forwarded on for Retired Frat Bro to screen for potential living situations. The more amusing you make it, the more likely we’ll post it here on BroBible dot com.

LET’ DO THIS.

Brandon Wenerd

About Brandon Wenerd...

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's senior editor, guru of @brotips, and director of strategic partnerships. He joined BroBible in the fall of 2009 after graduating from Penn State. When he’s not writing, Brandon enjoys fishing, Phish, Philly sports, Dewey Beach, supporting live music, hot sauce, and beer. E-mail him with post ideas and news tips: brandon@brobible.com.