The one time that I accepted a food-eating challenge I plowed through 3 plates of French fries, 2 cheeseburgers and 5 chicken tenders in one sitting. This was at the end of spring break, so if I gained 10 pounds overnight I didn’t give a shit because I wouldn’t be wearing a bikini until at least June, plus some kid bet me $75 I couldn’t do it. I may have been bloated as fuck afterward and puked for a solid 15 minutes, but I won my $75 so it was totally worth it. I was poor. Judge me.
The monstrosity of food I ate that day probably capped off at around 4,000 calories. Had the aforementioned kid bet me $75 that I couldn’t eat this 8,000 calorie breakfast I would’ve told him to go fuck himself, because in no world does anyone need 8,000 calories worth of breakfast food shoved down their gullet in the name of petty cash bets.
But in case you’re wondering what it takes to have a breakfast total in at 8,000 calories, take a gander The Corner Café in Portishead’s “Monster Mega Challenge Breakfast”…:
Then, you’ll have to take down six of each of the following: bacon rashers, eggs, sausages, black pudding and hash browns.
You also get two three-egg omelettes (one’s never enough), four portions each of fried potatoes and fried mushrooms, four onion rings, four slices of toast, two slices of fried toast, two portions of stewed tomatoes, two portions of baked beans, and the essential half a grilled tomato.
— ewaitowto (@eirouweorwe) January 14, 2015
“”You get one hour to finish all the items on your plate and have the option of either a milkshake or an energy drink as your beverage. You can’t share, you have to be over 18, and if you’re about to projectile vomit everywhere you have to stop. Yes, that’s a rule. Yes, some people don’t have the common sense to stop and will keep eating.
— ewaitowto (@eirouweorwe) January 14, 2015
So far 5 people have attempted the challenge but no one has won…but what is the prize for winning, you ask? You get to have your photo on the “champion” wall, a free breakfast voucher, a mini trophy and a key ring…along with probably a cardiac arrest sometime in your near future, judging stares from friends at family because they know someone in the family is a literal pig, and the knowledge that your life has hit such a low point that you spent an hour eating 8,000 calories in breakfast foods just to get a key ring and your picture on a wall.
[H/T Metro, header image via Shutterstock]