Reckless Driving Douchebag Gets Confronted On Camera And Is Probably The Worst Person On The Internet Today

The ol’ “you molested me, fool!” card. The ultimate trump card. As old as time. Used to use this all the time back in the day. Teacher berates me for not doing my homework? I would have completed the assignment if I wasn’t distracted by your hand on my inner thigh, Mr. Wilson. Late on rent for the third month in a row? Landlord was diddling my balls, sorry. I don’t have the money to buy a taquito at 7 Eleven? Accuse the cashier of trying to anally probe you with a Slim Jim. Guaranteed the dude doesn’t care enough to put up a fight.

I probably should have told this entitled fuck that the “molest me, fool!” card only works when someone is not filming your every move. Not sure if this dickless shithead knows how a camera works but technology has advanced to the point where cameras are capable of capturing your every move, like mirroring what’s actually going on in real life. Maybe if this jerkoff took a break from trying to kill kids crossing the street, he’d understand the basic truths of life.

P.S. Why the fuck did this kid pull over in the first place? If a pedestrian tried to pull me over I’d stick my entire bare ass out the window.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.