Office romances occur in virtually every company. I mean, dudes are horny as hell, what do you expect? But while there is nothing wrong with having a girlfriend or casual sex from time to time (see: always), there is a lot wrong with having those relationships with someone you work with, because for ninety-five percent of us it never ends well. Now I'm sure there are reasons why a woman should never date someone she works with but we're Bros so these five reasons pertain primarily to us.
5. Your Free Time At Work Belongs to Her
The level of obligation to include her in everything you do will be through the ROOF. Only an animal would let her eat lunch alone while he goes out to with his friends, is what she will probably tell you the first time you do it.
4. You Might Get Fired
Some companies frown on office romances. Sure, most don't but as long as you disclose the romance, but we have it on good authority that you can be fired if you date a coworker at certain companies. That "good authority," by the way, is a close friend who got canned for his office love affair. Meanwhile, the company spared the chick and allowed her to keep her job, because enormous breasts.
3. If She's Not the Boss, What's the Point?
I understand you love who you love, but if you're going to be spending day and night with someone, you may as well be getting ahead by doing it. Sleeping with someone on your level or below is ill-advised and dumb as hell. Bang the boss not a bottom-feeder. If you leave here with any lasting advice, let that be it.
2. If It Doesn't End in Marriage It Will End Awkwardly
Breaking up with someone is painful and awkward enough as it is, but when you smash a co-workers heart into smithereens it makes for a hostile work environment. If the chick is someone you work directly with or who works under you, prepare to do the work you usually pass off to her for quite some time as her shattered heart mends. Sit tight, though, it should only take like 4 years for that thing to be whole again.
1. Because You'll Go NUTS
No escape. No breaks. No absence to make the heart grow fonder. Every day, all day you will be around her. Can you take that kind of window-fogging, without relent heat? I sure as hell can't.
"Men at Work" is launching its second season on tonight, April 4 at 10/9c on TBS.