A rabbi in Pittsburgh is being accused of accidentally slicing off a baby's penis at its own bris. A bris, as you all know, is where a baby's foreskin is cermonially removed by a person known as Not a Licensed Medical Professional, because religion and logic don't like to mix. Rabbi Mordechai Rosenberg is now facing a lawsuit, which is how details of this incident, from eight months ago, leaked out. From KDKA:
The baby was rushed to Children’s Hospital, where doctors performed emergency microsurgery… sources say it took eight hours. The baby needed six blood transfusions and was hospitalized for nearly two months. Sources describe the reattachment procedure as successful.
Doctors still don't know if the boy will make a complete recovery, because his erections are still 13 years away.
Let me go on the record here—and this is not the stance of my employer—that having a rabbi circumcise your baby is the stupidest fucking thing you could ever do as a parent. Even if you are a god damn Jew. Let doctors handle the slicing of the skin off of part of your baby's penis. Make a goddamn amendment to the Torah if you have to, because this practice should be illegal. And while you are add it, un-ban pork.
Like seriously. What other medical procedures are allowed to be done by high priests? This isn't ancient Egypt.