Everyone knows that when it comes to burrito rankings, Qdoba falls far, far below that of Chipotle. Qdoba is poop to Chipotle’s not poop.
When you are living in a constant state of inferiority, it drives you to do some dumb shit. Like Qdoba’s Valentine’s Day promotion (what’s more romantic than farting all night?) where they will give you a free burrito if you tongue fuck a stranger inside their store.
From a Qdoba press release on their plan to go viral(ly infecting the populace).
All that is required of guests is this slightly cheesy, but certainly saucy task: order one Smothered Burrito and share a smooch with a loved one, friend or even a willing stranger and you can dig into a second Smothered Burrito on the same visit for free.”
First off, if your Valentine’s Day plans involve taking your loved ones to Qdoba for a two-for-one promotion… well, you know what? You live your best life.
Still not convinced? How about some Fieri-speak about the launch of their new burrito.
On February 12, a new Smothered Burrito sauce – Savory Queso – will make its debut to Qdoba guests everywhere as part of the Smothered Burrito lineup. Not just for the curious taste buds, Savory Queso is a rich and creamy smother that takes a savory spin on the sauce that started it all. Savory Queso is the fourth Smothered Burrito to hit the menu and complements Qdoba’s existing flavors—Tangy Verde, Red Chile and Smoky Chipotle Cream. The bold flavors allow Qdoba guests to uniquely dig in to a new burrito eating experience, as Smothered Burritos feature sauce both inside and over-the-top of the burrito.
Isn’t all cheese inherently savory? And wow. Sauce inside and out. That’s … revolutionary. That’ll change their fortunes, I’m sure of it.