Editor’s Note: This is the latest article by our new resident hot chick, That’s What She Said. To ask her your burning questions about sex, relationships, or any other topic, just click here or the Ask a Babe logo.
Gentlemen, thanks for all your questions over the holidays. We have a lot of things to address in the coming weeks (although, if your question involved “what’s your bra size LOLS!!!” or “ DO U ARMWRESTLE” yours will not be answered, and you should probably reconsider your presence on this site.) And since we’ve gotten to know each other so well, I may even have some questions for all of you to weigh in on in the comments section, since Babes need answers too. Here goes…
Q. I think my girlfriend might be messing around on me. What can I do to find out if she is or not? I have tried to ask her but she said she is not messing around on me; she has lied to me before and has done so before, so what can I do to find out? Yes, I love her, but I am not going to be with somebody who is cheating again.
A. If you have reason to believe she’s cheating on you, and has before, then chances are you’re right: she’s cheating on you. It sounds like you don’t really need the hard evidence to know what’s going on here. It’s time to give her the boot. I’m not suggesting that cheating is always grounds for ending a relationship. Everyone makes mistakes and plenty of couples have been able to move past one slip up and continue to have a great relationship. It’s certainly not easy, but it can happen.
Cheating twice, though, is different. It sounds like you gave her another chance, and if you think she’s still not being faithful, it’s time to end things. Basically, she doesn’t respect you enough to get her shit together, and that’s not a relationship that’s worth hanging on to. If you can’t trust her, and it sounds like you have valid reason for not being able to, then there’s really not much you can do.
As for the last part of your question, if you really need the proof and don’t trust the answer she gave, give her phone a quick look the next time she’s in the shower or leaves the room. There will probably be some kind of evidence in there: a sketchy unaccounted-for number, a name you’ve never heard of, or actual incriminating messages. I seriously advise against this, though, because it's an invasion of her privacy, and if you think she’s cheating on you, you might actually wish you didn’t know the details that you might find with this kind of snooping. Seriously: it’s better not to know the specifics.
Aside from devious rustling around in her phone, another option is to appeal to one of her friends. They most likely know what’s going on, and although they would never sell her out, they probably would find a way of letting you know it’s maybe time to move on, if she is in fact cheating. Which you and I both know she is.
Q. Hey, so I've been abroad all semester, thus in January, when I get back to school and the great country that is America, I'll only have three more beer-filled semesters to enjoy. Now, seeing as I'm going to be a junior and all, I figure it’s time I leave the single life behind, and try to find a girl for the remainder of my time in college. The only problem is, the vast majority of girls I meet at school I find at bars or house parties, and while I am a huge fan of dance-floor hookups, those girls aren't really GF material. So, my question to you is, where on campus is the best place to find a girl worth dating?
A. Ideally, if you’re doing the things you like to do, you should meet someone great and GF-title worthy because you’ll find you have shared interests. That being said, if all of your extra-curricular interests revolve around your frat and party planning for said frat, you might need to expand your horizons a bit to find GF material.
Scope out the cuties at the library, or join a student group, club, or intramural sports team. If you’re into outdoors stuff, join the student wilderness group and chances are there will be some nature-loving hotties who share your love of skiing or hiking. Like music? Get involved with organizing concerts on campus and you might discover that the girl who was going nuts on the dance floor at your house party to some cheesy pop song actually has a thing for reggae, just like you. Feeling like you have a budding writing career? Join the school newspaper.
The point is that if you want find girls that are interested in stuff other than getting f*cked up and making out on the dance floor, then you need to be sure you’re spending your time pursuing other interests as well. That way when you run into that cute girl from the newspaper, you guys will have plenty to talk about.
Q. How do you make the transition from mutual interest/hooking up to a relationship?
A. Personally, I’m a fan of the in-between trial period time of exclusively hooking up but not actually having the pressure of the title. Labels sometimes make people nervous: All of a sudden there’s a lot of pressure that wasn’t there before, and this can be especially daunting to girls that like to play hard-to-get or other skittish types.
But if you really want to take things to the next level, I find the best way to handle this is just a face-to-face conversation. If you’ve been seeing someone for a while, and feel like it’s time to put a title on it and make the GF status official, the best thing to do is just talk to her. Explain that you really enjoy spending time with her, and would be psyched if she felt the same way.
Q. How do I get babes to blow on my stomach and stroke my pen*s while satisfying themselves sexually at the same time?
A. That is a lot of multitasking. It sounds like you are looking for a very sexy octopus. Good luck with that.
Q. Does size matter??
A. This again? Yup. It matters for you, only though, because it’s obviously tiny.