New Proposed Airline Seating Would Make Tug Jobs Harder, Blow Jobs Easier

Zodiac Aerospace

Look, I’m not making any profound or revelatory statements by saying that airline travel is miserable.

It’s miserable. The chairs, the space, the smell. None of it brings about pleasure. Really the only hope of having an enjoyable experience is the off chance that the stranger next to you — male or female, it really doesn’t matter at 35,000 feet — is interested in tugging you off under one of those thin, blue, fleece blankets.

The in-flight handie is a time-honored tradition, a delightful way to get off while waiting for the movie to start.

It’s so simple, what with the way seats are on planes these days. Just slide a right or left hand over and boom. It’s nothing like the in-row blow job, which even our nation’s finest contortionists have trouble pulling off and forces the third person in the row to awkwardly pretend it’s not happening.

A new design for airplane rows could make that much easier, however. The cost would be the tugs.

In a recent proposal, Zodiac Areospace suggest flipping the middle seat on a plane. Here, take another look.

Zodiac Areospace

No one wants to get an eye-to-eye handjob from a stranger. That’s just fucking weird. The blow job though. So easy. Just drop to the knees and get at it.

Maybe the future of air travel is starting to look up.

[Via Mashable]