It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Everyone is in a jolly (and giving) mood this season making holiday parties the ideal place to pick up women. Why? The girls are cheerful, liquored up and keenly aware of their single status while they eye the mistletoe. They also most likely bought a new outfit and shaved their legs for the occasion and want to make damn sure that doesn’t go to waste.
Whether you’re at an office party or your friend’s annual holiday shitshow, you already have a conversation starter because of your shared connection. Unlike a bar or club where the girl you’re hitting on is a total stranger, holiday parties give you common ground.
“So what department do you work in? I haven’t seen you around the office?”
“Hey, I’ve seen you around. You work with [insert colleagues name here], right? My name is…”
“How do you know [insert host’s name here]? He was my freshman year roommate.”
Boom. It’s as easy as one of Santa’s ho ho hos. Striking up conversation is even easier because she isn’t surrounded by all of her girlfriends at some club thinking that you’re just trying to take her home. Even if that’s exactly what your plan is. Below are some tips to getting her under the mistletoe and possibly back to your apartment without HR having to step in on Monday.
DO: Scan the room before you find your target. The girls looking to get down will be doing the same thing. She will be glancing around every so often to check out the guys and see if anyone is worth making flirty eye contact with.
DON’T: Insult or make jokes about people in the office or at the party. You never know who people know and you never know when your boss is in close proximity until it’s too late.
DO: Dress well. If it is an office party, you will probably be heading to the party straight from work. If you work in an office that is more casual, dress it up a bit with a tie. Even if it’s a friend’s party, dress slightly better than you would on a regular Saturday night. It never hurts to be the best dressed in the room.
DON’T: Wear obnoxious Christmas attire like an ugly sweater. Unless it is an ugly sweater party, NO sweaters. If you have an obnoxious Rudolph tie that has a teensy light bulb that illuminates the reindeer’s nose, I would suggest leaving that home as well. It could become a conversation piece if you’re really outgoing and can pull it off but that’s your decision. My friend owns a SpongeBob tie and still manages to look good in it. It depends on your personality.
DO: Use your resources. Ask the guy throwing the party if the cute girl you’re checking out is single and if he can introduce you later. Join your work buddy as he talks to his hot secretary who always wears those tight pencil skirts. Getting casually introduced from someone she knows and trusts scores you points before you’ve even opened your mouth.
DON’T: Get totally wasted. If things go well you can always continue the party with her afterwards. The goal is to get her tipsy enough to think watching Christmas movies at your place is a good idea while keeping it cool in front of your work associates. There’s a fine line between liquid courage and blowing your chances because you’re slurring your words. As handsome and charming as you may be it’s hard to take you seriously as you sway and slow blink.
DO: Ask her to dance. If there’s music and you have some form of rhythm, it’s a good way to get closer to her and be touching. Keep in mind that it’s not a club so grinding on her from behind isn’t really going to work.. until later. Actually dance with her, spin her around and drop in a few compliments about her clothes, hair, eyes, smile etc. When in doubt, just tell her she looks beautiful and grab another vodka soda for her.
DON’T: Forget your surroundings. If you’re at a friends’ holiday party, really anything goes. Office parties however require better behavior. You don’t want to do anything that will either A) jeopardize your job or B) embarrass the hell out of her. Keep it nice and get to the naughty stuff at the after-party.
DO: Ask her to do something afterwards if everything seems to be going well. If the party is coming to an end and you haven’t sealed the deal on bringing her home but the flirty, witty banter has been going back and forth all night, suggest going to another place. Slip in that you want to “get to know her better” and then take her to a loud bar with lots of booze and dancing.
DON’T: Shit where you eat. Be strategic on who you hit on and possibly take home. Girl from another department? Ok. Works on a separate floor? Even better. Cubicle buddy? NO. It’s like that time freshman year when you hooked up with the girl whose dorm was next door. It seemed like a good idea that first week but her stalking tendencies afterwards got old fast.
That’s it for my tips. Have fun, boys and let me know how all your parties turn out. I’m desperately trying to get BroBible to throw a holiday rager because it would probably be the best party of the season. Plus I’m secretly trying to get JCamm under the mistletoe...