Comical blog or Sarah McLachlan commercial? You decide.
If you don’t know Lil Terrio, he’s a morbidly obese six-year-old who danced his way into America’s arteries–namely with the “Ooooo Kill ‘em” dance:
Times were good. We all united together in making fun of a little fat kid and everything was right in the world. Then the pictures started happening:
It doesn’t get more red-flag than rushed merchandise. It’s Exploitation 101, really. Once you find out that a ton of people thoroughly enjoy this little fat kid’s dancing, immediately produce t-shirts. Priorities: Get money first, promote a healthy lifestyle 1,000,000th.
I mean, the obvious natural progression here is to take a ton of pictures with popular rappers and athletes. Yeah, three years ago he was a toddler. So what? Any time you can rock a gold chain that you bought using clogged-artery money with Juelz Santana and Ricky Rozay, you have to do it, right?
Ah, the classic “See, he does do school work” trick. Bro BARELY has the finger creases to hold a pencil and is writing in the bottom right hand corner of a horizontal piece of paper. Zero percent chance this is homework, 100% chance it’s a drawing of a cake with corn dogs on top instead of candles. It lets you know he’s hungry, but there are levels to his hunger. Deep.
(FYI – If you haven’t already, this is the point where you have to start thinking something is VERY wrong)
And just like that, Terrio is actually at a very real risk of coronary failure. Like, I’ve never seen a basketball jersey work so hard before. It’s very clear that he’s made the most of his new-found fame, but damn, it’s starting to get uncomfortable. Behind those hilarious food-related nicknames that Black Twitter came up with, is a little kid that might be more or less handicapped at this point. I’m starting to feel like that person that is laughing even though they feel wildly uncomfortable about what they’re laughing about.
Then I remembered that I’m a hater and it’s cool to go back to laughing at him because he’s getting more money than me and doesn’t know how to tie his shoes. Time is a flat circle.
Follow Dub J on Twitter and check his blog, A Working Man’s Diary