Sick of being friend-zoned but don't want to turn into a complete asshole? Mastering the art of playing hard to get is about perfecting the balance between nice guy and asshole—something only legendary fratstars have truly achieved and the secret recipe for getting prime ass in college.
1. Stop Texting Her
Seriously, Bro, texting her “so when are we gonna chill??” for the fifth time this week just annoys the shit out of her. I’m not telling you to NEVER text her—that will for sure have you blacklisted. Text her, (at the most) two times out of the week. This is not your girlfriend. This is the girl you want to fuck in the face, not the girl your mom invited over
for eggplant parm. Not texting her makes her wonder if you’re even into her which actually makes her question how hot she is. Don’t let the hot girl know she’s that hot— it ruins the illusion.
2. Put a Passcode on Your iPhone
A girl sees this and she knows you’ve got bitches waiting in line. She’ll take the challenge.
3. Running Into Her on Campus
Don’t say hi to her right away. This SCREAMS premature ejaculation—I mean, if you’re way too excited to say hi to her, you might also be too eager in other ways. If it’s not a situation where you can wait a while to say hi, always do the head nod. Its effortless and let’s be real, its also the universal greeting gesture for bros.
4. The Throwback
At least one of your profile pictures has to be from your childhood. You could be the biggest asshole in the world, but having a picture of you and your sister when you were five makes girls think you’re capable of giving a fuck.
P.S. (A picture with your mom is even better)
5. Play Nice
Don’t be a total douche. When you see a girl you’re into, always smile. Don’t get me wrong, girls like assholes, but you have to be the asshole that’s also got a sweet side. Nothing gets a girl to hop on your dick faster than that, trust me.
6. Letting Her Know She’s Hot
Chances are, she knows this. But believe me, she is always doubting it. If the girl you want
to bang is hot, let her know ONCE. Nothing turns girls off like a guy who won’t stop complimenting them. Think about this—if a girl is supposed to think you’re really hard to get, shouldn’t you be used to being around hot girls all the time? Stop acting like you’ve never seen a smokeshow. And when you do tell her she’s hot, all it takes is “hey beautiful.” Complimenting her just once let’s her know that there is a possibility you will hook up. It also keeps her wondering if she’s still hot every time she sees you. This in turn, makes her want to prove to you that she’s still the “hot chick.” If you’ve been following all the previous tips, chances are she’ll try to do this by hitting on you. You’re welcome.
7. Open Up a Little
I’m not saying you have to tell your life story, but opening up a little about how much you love your mom makes her think you’ve had a complete heart to heart and she’ll text her BFF Kelsey the first chance she gets about this “breakthrough.” What you’re doing is letting her know you have a soft side and that she’s someone you can confide in. COSMO tells her this is what she should be looking for in a guy. I'm letting you know it'll get her to go down on you in five seconds flat.
Helping you get laid one step at a time,
your california babe