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People Won’t Stop Pooping In The Hallways At The EPA

By 06.25.14


The Environmental Protection Agency apparently needs to raise its hiring standards to include “potty trained.” There’s always the chance that people thought they were helping the environment by doing some home-made composting, but we all know better.

“In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned ‘several incidents’ in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and ‘an individual placing feces in the hallway’ outside the restroom.”

Via Gov Exec

Placing feces in the hallway? Yeah okay, and I’m simply watering my neighbor’s flower bed with urine whenever I’m stumbling home drunk and can’t make it to the bathroom. The only difference is that this is clearly out of spite since he’s pooping directly OUTSIDE the bathroom. Probably the best part though is the “conclusion” management came to.

“…EPA management ‘consulted’ with workplace violence ‘national expert’ John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was ‘very dangerous’ and the individuals responsible would ‘probably escalate’ their actions.

Escalate to what, dead bodies? And no shit it’s a health risk, it’s fucking POOP. This is what your tax dollars are going towards guys, the EPA hiring someone out of office to tell them that poop is dirty. Wonderful.

[H/T Gawker]

Rebecca Martinson
About Rebecca Martinson... Rebecca Martinson is a recent graduate from the University of Maryland who is notoriously known throughout the Internet for being really, really adequate at writing emails. She joined BroBible right after graduating in the Spring of 2014 and doesn't hate it...yet.

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