People Spent the Government Shutdown Fucking

Did you know that last October the federal government was closed for 16 days? Yea, I had no fucking clue and I blogged about it. That’s how worthless and pointless the entire exercise was.

But what did the approximately 700,000 furloughed federal employees do with all that free time? Did you guess fuck their faces off? You should have guessed fucked their faces off, because the answer is … fucked their faces off. Per The Washington Post:

According to some local hospitals, one apparent aftereffect of the 16-day October furlough has made its way into maternity wards. At Sibley, for example, an average of 9.2 births occur daily. During the past month, that number has increased by three births, or 32.6 percent, per day.

Hospitals in Virginia and Maryland reported similar increases. Which makes sense. People weren’t getting paid at the time. Cutting spending on prophylactics is an excellent way to save money in the short-term. Not exactly the best long-term, budget-friendly idea, though.

Hey, that sounds just like the federal government! Maybe these people should find a better role model.

[H/T @themarkberman; Image via me and Shutterstock]