TMI, people. TMI. Ever heard of it? Apparently not the people on Reddit who continually amaze and astound with their responses to various “Ask Reddit” questions.
Today the question posed by Redditor rjshawn was, “What is your post-sex routine?”
Seems simple enough. No way this one could go sideways, right? Wrong.
Not all the answers were COMPLETELY weird, but there certainly were enough of them to make you scratch your head (at the very least).
Here are some of the best(?). See if any of these sound familiar to you…
Pee immediately. Utis and kidney infections are not fun. Neither is semen dripping down your leg or into your butt crack. ~ Stacieinhorrorland
The nearest piece of clothing becomes the ‘wiper’. ~ FORTRESSOFHERCULES
I close all the tabs and wipe off whatever might have gotten on my hand. ~ Narwheagle
My girlfriend insists we test the condom with water after using it. Every. Single. Time. So that’s my super sexy post-sex routine. She also finds my flaccid penis extremely humorous so no laying there naked or she’ll start poking it and laughing at it. ~ matig123
I usually like to play with his flaccid penis, but if not, then we’ll cuddle and fall asleep together. ~ MsGlam
We sit there for like a minute… then I roll off the bed and shuffle to the bathroom to avoid dripping. I pee and cough a few times and that does a pretty good job of getting stuff out. Clean up with wipes or shower.
Husband rolls off his side. He sometimes uses the same bathroom, sometimes goes to the other one. He too pees, cleans off.
We get dressed and either go to bed or go watch some television. There aren’t usually a lot of cuddles. We give each other props, you know, good job and what not… but we aren’t too big on relishing the moment. In fact, keeping the sheets clean is probably a higher priority. Nothing is worse than realizing you have to change the sheets and all you want to do is sleep. ~ lustywench99
Apologize profusely. ~ -C-Is-For-Cookie
Eat.
I’m not exaggerating. The greatest moment of my life was having me sitting in bed watching Bob’s Burgers with a Publix chicken tender sub right after awesome sex and a hot big boobed chick sleeping naked next to me.
It’s been two years and I still haven’t been able to recapture that moment. ~ dmkicksballs13
Politely wipe it on the curtains and leave like a gentleman. ~ Salami_sub
I wake up and realize I’m all alone again.
Damn you dreams. ~ Venieth
Zip up and give your mom cab fare. ~ justburch712
After clean up I eat sooooo much food. Usually junk food… often take aways. ~ psyc-witch
My wife and I usually high five each other immediately afterward. ~ johnwalkersbeard
Collect all the used sex toys and wash them. ~ death_to_topknots
Pass the fuck out. ~ eskamobob1
Nailed it.
Check out the rest of the answers if you dare over at Reddit.
Couple image by Shutterstock
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