I Prefer Not To Be De-Balled By This Fish Known As The ‘Ball Cutter’

It wasn’t too long ago that we told you about a fish that was found in New Jersey that had teeth as sharp as Freddy Kruger’s knife fingers, swimming around a lake just waiting to chomp on someone’s balls.

While that may have happened on the east coast, it looks like a lake in California just got the same fucking biting fish in one of their lakes, as a pic just surfaced of the terrifying swimmer.

According to a report in The Press Democrat, the fish—a pacu, which, no joke, is commonly referred to as “Nutcracker” and “Ball Cutter”—was discovered when a dude named Geoffrey Arend was fishing in a lake in Sonoma County, Ca.

With teeth that resemble a human baby’s and bloodlines tracing back to fucking piranhas, these pacu’s are the reason staying out of lakes this summer would be a wise idea.

A spokesperson for the California Department of Fish and Wildlife went on to say in the report that these little fuckers are commonly dumped into lakes and rivers after their owners “get tired of taking care of them or find they just are too gross to look at,” giving me the worst reason ever for my balls to be exposed to the threat of being gnawed on by one.

The fish, which can grow up to four feet long, has been found in a number of U.S. states, meaning that, if you plan on taking a dip in a lake anytime soon, you’d be smart to wear some armor to protect yourself from becoming fish food.

[H/T FTW.USAToday]

Nick Dimengo avatar
Nick's a Sr. Editor for BroBible, mainly relying on his Sports Encyclopedia-like mind to write about things. He's also the co-host of the BroBible podcast "We Run This," and can be seen sweating his ass off while frequently running 10+ miles around Seattle.