Wahooo! It's another debate night, which means another evening of casual workday boozing infront of the TV. You slob! Before we get started, just ask yourself this one question, "Is it worth missing playoff baseball for this?" If the answer is "no," just stop reading right now. If the answer is "yes," good on you: You love America and hate your liver. Or you're just a poli-sci major with nothing better to do. Slacker.
The last meeting between Obama and Romney on October 3rd gave Mitt Romney's campaign a much-needed jolt of (non-caffinated) energy, finally allowing the Massachusetts Govenor to hit a stride. But don't rule Obama out yet! All eyes will be on his performance this evening at the second and final Presidential debate. Tonight's town hall-style debate will be held on the lovely campus of Hofstra University in Hempstead, New York, home to the Flying Dutchmen and a now-defunct football program. Come with questions and demand answers! CNN Chief Political Correspondent Candy Crowley will moderate, but expect a lot of pre-screened questions about foriegn policy issues regarding Iran, Israel, Libya, and China. And, of course, the usual chit-chat domestic issues we didn't touch on in the last debate: Education, poor people, social security, women's issues, etc, et al.
For our previous debate drinking games, click here and here. Have your adult beverage of choice ready? Ready to vomit your brains out in two hours from too many buzzwords, zingers, and Twitter snark? Great! Now let's do this! Without further adieu, presenting our official Presidential Debate drinking game, Town Hall edition.
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Please, play at your own risk. I wish it didn't need to be said. But don't take this game seriously. At all.
One sip when a candidate mentions the following buzzwords:
- "Osama Bin Laden"
- "The UN"
- "Arab Spring"
- "Wall Street"
- "Main Street"
- Romney interrupts and/or talks over Obama.
- Obama interrupts and/or talks over Romney.
One gulp when...
- "The Middle Class."
- The inevitable question from a young, college-age voter.
- The inevitable question from an old, senior citizen voter.
- The inevitable question about social security.
- The inevitable discussion about invading Iran.
- The inevitable discussion about Libya.
- The inevitable discussion about women's rights.
- The inevitable discussion about education.
- Obama mentions GM.... Again and again and again.
- Romney mentions the deficit... Again and again and again.
Two swigs of your drink:
- EVERY ZINGER. EVERY SINGLE TIME.
- Obama forgets to look into the camera while speaking.
- Romney speaks directly to the camera and not the audience memeber while speaking.
- If any canidate dodges a question.
- If Obama says "Let me be clear."
- If Obama references Romney's 47% video.
- If Obama criticizes Romney's tax plan (or lack thereof).
- If Romney looks mad.
- If Obama looks sad.
Finish your drink
- During any gag-worthy tale about coming from humble beginnings.
- During petty, bitter bickering about "bipartisanship."
- During any mention of PBS programming besides Seseame Street.
Finish your drink and smash your can on your head:
- If Big Bird is mentioned in any way what so ever.
Rowdy "U-S-A" chant + shotgun:
- When either candidate mentions programs for veterans.
Take a shot:
- After any and every ridiculous gaffe.
- If song lyrics are quoted.
- If another President is quoted.
- Crazy Joe Biden's debate antics are mentioned in any way.
- If Romney actually outlines the specifics of his tax plan.
Wine enema butt chug if*:
- If anyone cries.
- Kim Kardashian and/or any Bravo Network show is mentioned as an illustration of decaying American values.
- Romney writes Hawaii off as "a vacation destination, not a state."
- Romney mentions Lindsay Lohan's endorsement.
- Romney mentions "This muthafuckas name is Mitt"
- Obama mentions Jay-Z's endorsement.
- Obama mentions hugging Beyonce and smelling her neck.
- Jim Lehrer comes on stage in moment of ill-timed aggression, drink in hand, and says "I'M ASKING THE FUCKING QUESTIONS NOW!"
*Disclaimer: Obviously DO NOT wine enema butt chug, you idiot.