Did you look at your calendar lately? It's October. That means the 2012 Presidential election is just a short five weeks away. Tonight kicks off the very first Presidential debate at the University of Denver in Colorado. Some good, old fashion American debatin'' gets underway at 9:00 PM EST, so plan on grabbing a case of your favorite adult beverage and posting up by the TV for six 15-minute segments of domestic policy discussion. And buzzwords. Lots and lots of buzzwords. Jim Lehrer's hosting (he's the host of the best and most unbiased news program on TV, PBS NewsHour, but you probably don't watch it). Expect a blockbuster evening that "could change everything," despite the fact that most Americans have long ago made up their minds.
Just because politics can be boring as hell doesn't mean we can't have a boozin' good ole time this evening. Without further adieu, presenting our official Presidential Debate drinking game.
Go LIKE BroBible on Facebook for more kickass drinking games. For another debate drinking game to play this evening, head on over to Ranker. And play at your own risk. I wish it didn't need to be said, but please don't take this game seriously. At all.
One drink when a candidate mentions the following buzzwords:
- "Middle Class"
- "Favors the rich"
- "Wall Street"
- "Main Street"
- *long pause*
- "Small business"
- "Middle Class"
- "National deficit"
- “Private sector”
- "Job creators"
- "Balanced budget"
Two swigs of your drink:
- If Obama says "Let me be clear."
- If Obama looks at his hands for way too long.
- If Obama references Americans under 26 having health insurance.
- If Romney cites negative jobs reports under Obama.
- When Obama mentions "General Motors."
- When Romney mentions 16 trillion national debt.
- If both candidates vaguely mention changing our "Energy policy"
- If Jim Lehrer angrily interrupts a candidate.
Group waterfall round buzzwords:
- "Student loans"
- "American Dream"
- "Fiscal responsibility"
Rowdy "U-S-A" chant + shotgun:
- When either candidate mentions programs for veterans.
Finish your drink:
- When a candidate quotes a former president, civil rights leader, or musician, including Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan.
- During every heart-warming family anecdote.
Smoke a joint:
- If the phrase "green jobs" is used.
- If Obama references his college days.
Drink a Caffeine Free Pepsi:
- If Romney references his college days.
Take a shot:
- After any and every ridiculous gaffe.
- When Obama promises to stop spamming your e-mail 5 times a day.
- If Romney doubles down on saying "I like being able to fire people."
- If Romney mentions his wife's dancing horse.
Wine enema butt chug if*:
- Romney mentions Scott Stapp's endorsement.
- Obama namedrops hanging out with celebrity.
- Romney refers to Obama as either a Kenyan, Muslim, and/or socialist.
- The University of Tennessee butt-chugging scandal is referenced whilst discussing irresponsible use of student-loans for higher education.
- Obama slips into his 2007 Hampton University voice.
- Jim Lehrer begins crying in hopelessness.
- When you realize still a painful month of the campaign left.
*Disclaimer: Obviously DO NOT wine enema butt chug, you idiot.