Life
by J. Camm on August 10, 2014

Shark-Week

A reader emailed us last night with a friendly reminder that this week is Shark Week (on the Discovery Channel). He also did us one better and included rules to a Shark Week drinking game that he put together. We’ve made a few additions to his original list but feel free to drop your own in the comments. The more reasons to swill, the better.

tumblr_mbdqc0FXb01rfqa7zo1_500

1) Drink every time you hear an Australian, South African, or British accent

2) Drink every time you see a diver in a cage.

3) When a great white is ‘jumping’ out of the cage, drink from when the shark exits the water til it the re-entry

4) Drink every time a person mentions chum, a shark attack statistic, or a shark fact (note: this can only happen once every person)

5) Drink every time the camera shows a surfboard or person underwater in the same frame as a shark. Also drink if they show you a chewed-up surfboard.

6) Every time a new person is interviewed, drink

7) Every time a person is declared a “shark expert,” drink

8) Finish your drink at the end of the episode. Should you not finish between the end of the episode and the start of the new show, chug an extra beer.

9) If they mention the state you live or have a house in. Drink. ( If they talk about Mass, Chatham, or Jessup don’t be a b*tch and drink)

10) Drink every time the show references a new type of shark. If the shark does not attack humans (nurse shark) drink three times.

11) If a shark attacks an animal, drink until the animal dies or escapes. If the animal is a seal, finish your drink.

12) Drink every time someone mentions punching a shark in the nose or eye to stop an attack.

13) Drink every time a Facebook friend posts a #sharkweek status on Facebook or Twitter.

14) Drink every time some one mentions “Jaws” or if the “Jaws” theme music plays then say “we are going to need a bigger boat”.

15) Drink every time Andy Samberg is on TV.

16) When a shark attack victim talks about the attack, drink for 1 second per 5 stitches the victim received. If the victim is a girl or a young child, double the time.

17) Drink half of your beer for every limb the shark victim lost. If it happened to be their genitalia, the least you could do is drink the whole beer.

18) Drink every time you see a subdued shark being poked, prodded, or given a tracking device on a boat.

19) Every time you mutter LL Cool J’s lyrics, “Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a shark’s fin” under your breath — or aloud. Drink. (And good f*cking luck getting that out of your head.)

20) Drink because it’s f*cking shark week. (Editor’s Note: This one looks to be subjective, so interpret however you see fit.)

J. Camm

About J. Camm...

J. Camm is the Managing Editor of BroBible. He is a graduate of the University of Miami thanks mostly in part to a world-class short-term memory. When not writing drivel on the Internet, J.Camm enjoys golf and the inexplicable satisfaction that comes with forgetting a person's name the exact instant he meets them.

Post a Comment

Your email is kept private. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>