Oculto’s ‘Garden Of Hedon’ Party In Miami Was The Sexiest Thing Ever And We Copped An Invite

I’ll admit that each and every one of us has our own definition of what’s sexy, what’s not and what’s straight-up weird, but when Oculto told us that we’d be going to Miami to partake in a party where we’d be wearing masks upon entering the historic Vizcaya Museum and Gardens—while surrounded by mega-hotties—for the best party of the season, we didn’t hesitate in accepting that invite.

By transforming the estate into a masked, secret garden event called the “Garden of Hedon,” Oculto put hundreds of us into the most mischievous I’ve been in since my freshman year in college when… well, we don’t need to get into the details.

Rubbing elbows with some of the elite of South Beach, it was overwhelmingly sexy, as scantily clad ladies walked around refusing to reveal themselves until, if lucky, the end of the night.

After beginning the night with a full course meal that included interestingly creative dishes at The Bazaar by José Andrés, more than just a few Oculto’s got our party’s wild side out, as the mischief carried on through dinner and into the private bus to the event, where more trouble was bound to happen—and did.

  #MakeSecrets @oculto_us #SouthBeach @brobible   A photo posted by ndimengo (@ndimengo) on Nov 19, 2015 at 6:44pm PST

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Escorted to the front of the line of hundreds, we were met with an ambush of masked women, who had us disguise ourselves with our favorite mask to bring out our wild sides all night long.

With Oculto beer flowing like water all night long, the night quickly got to 100, with the elegant, mysterious and hidden party turning into a full-fledged rager once the DJ took the stage, bringing serious bangers for us to dance our asses off to while sweating out the copious amounts of alcohol we had been drinking all night long.

For those unfamiliar with Oculto, take your ordinary summer beer and add a tequila twist to it, giving this bold lager a light taste that’s the idea drink for sitting around the pool, boating all day or when pre-gaming before hitting the clubs. It’s no wonder they decided to have the party in the pristine South Beach, where the 80-plus degrees and sunshine was a perfect backdrop for this lager mixed with beer aged on Mexican tequila barrel staves.

As the party continued the rest of the night, we stumbled into some club that, to be honest, I have no idea the name of, continuing to drink into oblivion and ending the night, somehow, back at our hotel (too) unscathed.

To say the next day was rough would be an understatement, as the 10 a.m. checkout quickly got pushed back to 3:30 p.m. for ol’ boy here since I was at about a 1 on a scale of 50 in terms of being a functional human being. I guess that was the way my 31-year-old body was telling me I just can’t hang like I used to?

I’m actually so disgusting that, without showering prior to checking out and wearing the same, sweaty clothes that I did to the “Garden of Hedon” party the night before, I walked my ass down to Sbarros pizza a mile down the road from my hotel to at least try to get something in me before I left for the airport, completely stumbling down the street as I could feel both the judgmental eyes and Miami heat pounding down on me.

Arriving to the airport, I don’t remember a thing from the first leg of my trip back from Miami to Houston other than some guy who played Ellie Goulding’s “On My Mind” on his phone on repeat without fucking headphones, which made me wish I were still drinking Oculto’s and enjoying the good life down in South Beach.

The theme for the entire Oculto “Garden of Hedon” party was #MakeSecrets, and, from what I remember after being fed about 15 of the beers, there are plenty of secrets that my memory barely remembers.

Follow all of the mischief from Oculto on Instagram.

Nick Dimengo avatar
Nick's a Sr. Editor for BroBible, mainly relying on his Sports Encyclopedia-like mind to write about things. He's also the co-host of the BroBible podcast "We Run This," and can be seen sweating his ass off while frequently running 10+ miles around Seattle.