The Bloody Zombie
Image via Flickr by moggs oceanlane
You think zombies are rad and The Walking Dead is the greatest thing since the shotgun. We get it. But there's nothing more unattractive and repulsive than seeing you covered in piles of fake blood and lacerations.
Yes, your make-up is very convincing and gruesome, but it creates an extremely unwelcome juxtaposition to all the other pictures of cats doing silly things on my news feed. Halloween is the only acceptable time for posting pictures like these.
The South Park Avatar
Image via Flickr by Lordcolus
It's never clear what message people are trying to convey with these profile pictures. Are they supposed to be a literal translation of you in cartoon form? Do you really carry around ninja stars and shotguns and other ridiculous paraphernalia?
Maybe they're just trying to ride on the satirical writing gold Trey Parker and Matt Stone churn out every episode, or draw some sort of parallel between their personality and the edgy boldness of South Park. Who knows? Either way, a profile picture like this is sure to make you the coolest kid in 10th grade.
The Greek Life Flyer
Image via Flickr by Jeffrey Simms Photography
Fraternities and Sororities get a bad rap. They're noble organizations that promote brotherly/sisterly love and being an upstanding, productive citizen of society… on paper.
More often than not, they're spamming your news feed with flyers made by someone with rudimentary Photoshop skills promoting some “formal” or “crush” or other frivolous nonsense event you'll probably never go to because you're not in Greek life. It's worse when people make these their main profile pictures. Do you have no life outside your fake version of ancient Greek culture?
The Sparkly Glamour Shots
This breed of profile picture is particularly irksome. Usually somebody feeling “fabulous” will throw on copious layers of sparkles, glitter, and quite often a puffy lipstick kiss.
To top it off, they'll throw in some silly font (usually comic sans) that says their name and some asinine quote like “dont hate me cuz u aint me” or “2 hot 2 handle” or “it iz whut it iz.” These pictures are anything but glamorous and went out of style 30 seconds after they first appeared on MySpace.
The Awkward Bathroom Selfie
Image via Flickr by stallio
These photo start with honest intentions, but soon get added to the lexicon of hilarious pics. You need a good profile picture of yourself. Seems simple enough. But they go downhill once you realize how much time and effort someone puts into posing in front of a bathroom mirror, alone, to take a picture of themselves. Maybe it's vain, maybe it's desperate. Maybe if you didn't spend all your time alone in bathrooms other people would take halfway decent pictures of you.
Don't be one of these people, please. The internet is already obnoxious enough without your ridiculous profile pictures.
Abigail Clark is an upcoming freelance writer. She graduated from The University of South Florida with a bachelors in marketing, minoring in journalism. When she isn’t up to her neck in coupons she is enjoying the outdoors fishing. She loves doing reviews for technology, home products and beauty products. If you would like her to do a review for you look her up on twitter.